Remembering Rika

[imomus]

Two years ago today, Rika Hirata, my best friend when I lived in New York, committed suicide.



I don't really want to talk in detail about the circumstances of Rika's death here. I'll just say that it happened because she had a severe bipolar condition, and went through a series of misfortunes, and wasn't supported as she should have been by the people around her. Rika should still be here, and for me she is still here. Shortly before she died she told me 'I will always be with you'. She was right. But that doesn't stop me missing her.

The photo shows Rika eating dumplings with me at our favourite cafe, the Dumpling Inn on Eldridge Street, New York, February 3rd, 2001.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

How sickening that you casually blame Rika's death on her friends. After one of her many suicidal episodes, I remember asking you, Nick, for help. You were dismissive. I will always remember your arrogance and hostility towards me at a time when Rika could truly have used your help.

That said, I do not believe anyone or anything could have saved her. She had more agency than you credit her for. She had spent her adult life practicing suicide, and when the time came, she was thorough in making sure she got the job done. I do not believe, either, that she was bipolar. I think the best diagnosis might have been borderline personality disorder.

Rika was an artist and amazing and i miss her all the time

[(Anonymous)]

Rika was an artist and amazing and i miss her all the time. I just googled her because now, many years after we graduated together from art school, I saw some of her art in my mind as I was falling asleep. She was brilliant with ideas and materials. She was many times more innovative and risk-taking than most of our "classmates" I wish very much that she had not wanted to die. I wish she was here to meet my daughter and see the art I have made and go thrift shopping with me. I had a dream once that I went to our old studios at school to find all her things that were left behind. I found a crocheted drop of blood that fit in my palm that was stuffed with cotton.

i miss her too.

Re: Rika was an artist and amazing and i miss her all the time

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that appreciation, and your dream of Rika. She's living on in those of us who knew and loved her.