Remembering Rika

[imomus]

Two years ago today, Rika Hirata, my best friend when I lived in New York, committed suicide.



I don't really want to talk in detail about the circumstances of Rika's death here. I'll just say that it happened because she had a severe bipolar condition, and went through a series of misfortunes, and wasn't supported as she should have been by the people around her. Rika should still be here, and for me she is still here. Shortly before she died she told me 'I will always be with you'. She was right. But that doesn't stop me missing her.

The photo shows Rika eating dumplings with me at our favourite cafe, the Dumpling Inn on Eldridge Street, New York, February 3rd, 2001.

Comments

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I feel very mixed feelings on the question of blame. I think bipolar episodes can be triggered by external events, but they don't 'result' from them in quite the way we'd expect, and therefore it's hard to blame the people who seem to be the triggers. Bipolar people are looking for 'objective correlatives' for their own sense of despair, or guilt, or pointlessness. They can choose people pretty much at random for this. That said, once you become closely involved with a bipolar, and know about her condition -- and here I'm talking about a husband, or a doctor, for instance -- you do have responsibilities which go quite far beyond the normal ones. You cannot just walk away with a shrug when the going gets rough, or discharge the patient because she can't pay her medical bills any more.

[turkishb.livejournal.com]

That's absolutely true. I've been lucky enough in my own medical problems to have a very supportive doctor, family, and therapist.

If her doctor left her for lack of payment... well, that's an injustice, to say the least. There were times during my parents seperation where we didn't have the money to pay some of my bills, but yet my therapist kept treating me. It's hard to feel thankful enough when you consider the reality for others...

And if her husband was remiss, Christ, there aren't really words for the disgust in such indifference. It's bizarre to me how some people can have such a sense of self-entitlement that not even suffering from those nearest can shake them out of it. I've known people like that.

[hyman.livejournal.com]

"Bipolar people are looking for 'objective correlatives' for their own sense of despair, or guilt, or pointlessness. They can choose people pretty much at random for this."

Can you explain the term 'objective correlatives'? My psychiatrist suspects that I am bipolar, but the only source of information I have about the condition is from a book my mom that deals with the childhood form of the disorder and is geared mostly towards parents. I don't think that I fit the book's description (I suspect that I am either not objective or that it might manifest differently in very young children, hence a book about the disorder in childhood), but what you described here sounds very familiar. Could you point me somewhere that would explain in more detail what you meant?