imomus | My life in computers

My life in computers

I bought this Amstrad, my first personal computer, in 1987 at John Lewis on the King's Road, London, using an advance from my music publisher. I think it cost about £700. I used my 'word processor' to process words in my little 'canary cage' room nearby. I crunched out the lyrics to albums like 'Tender Pervert' and 'Don't Stop The Night'. The winking green cursor also blipped out texts for a Taschen book about Pierre et Gilles, an embarrassing fan letter to Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys, and love letters to the (lesbian, as it turned out) head of the theatre section at the ICA. The screen was black, the letters were green. You could play some pointless 'educational' game which involved a vector 'turtle'. The real revelation, though, was just the fact that you could have a page of text on the screen, and cut and paste it around. Suddenly editing seemed like the most futuristic thing in the world. You looked at the world afresh. 'What if we cut that building and pasted in another instead?'

My second computer was basically a music sequencer. There was an Atari ST series computer in all the recording studios I was using in the late 80s, thanks to its built-in MIDI ports and solid sequencing programs like C-LAB's 'Creator / Notator'. I figured that if I bought one, and a sampler, mixer, effects unit and DAT player, I would never have to rent a recording studio again. So from 1990 I sequenced music at home, saving time and money in the studio, and by 1993 I'd stopped using studios altogether. ('Timelord' is my first home-recorded album.) My Atari could also emulate a Mac thanks to a little plug-in ROM gadget called 'the GEM'. The poor thing plunged into a deep identity crisis because when I wasn't sequencing music I was forcing it to dress up as a Mac the whole time. It was on the Atari (running Apple System 6.07) that I first accessed the internet -- well, Compuserve -- in 1993. I remember showing it proudly to Don Watson, a journalist friend, in my cow-wallpapered front room on Cleveland Street, London W1. We went into some sort of gay chatroom together, said hello to somebody, and ran away. That was about the extent of my internet experience at that point. It was all a bit scary and hardcore.

In 1993 I splashed out on my first real Apple, a Duo Dock 230. You simply can't imagine how far into the future it seemed to catapult me! A laptop that slotted into a desktop! A colour screen! A CD-ROM Drive! I remember it sitting, fresh from the box, on the table in that cow wallpapered room. It had the smell and the look of a NASA project. It cost me £2000, but that was a small price to pay for space technology. I remember taking the laptop part to Japan, flying Hellcats missions on the plane (there's something weird about crashing a virtual plane when you're flying on a real one) and bonding with my A&R man at Nippon Columbia instantly. He was such a Mac fanatic they called him 'Maccy' at the label. On my Duo dock I wrote pseudo-Japanese albums like The Poison Girlfriend's 'Shyness', and my own 'Philosophy of Momus'. I wrote letters to the British High Commission in Dacca, Bangladesh telling them of 'a delicate situation' with a young girl called Shazna. I showed people my two prize possessions, a CD-ROM called 'Alice' by Kuniyoshi Kaneko and another called 'Rodney's Wonder Window' by Rodney Allan Greenblatt. (Later I visited Rodney's dollhouse loft in New York with Kahimi Karie. It was as virtual as his ROM. I'd been there before.) I didn't use the Mac for music -- the Atari still worked better for that -- but I got it onto the 'real' internet and was soon e mailing... with just one person, a woman called Regina, a journalist working at a New York advertising agency, who told me all about the trials and tribulations of her marriage.

After that it's all a blur, a series of vanilla-manilla boxes whose names and capabilities aren't worth remembering. Now it all gets soft and mushy: what I recall are web things. software things, body functions, incidentals. The debut of my website in 1995. Netscape Mosaic, Navigator, the Blam CD-ROMs, everything flashing like crazy, 'desktop publishing' and 'the multimedia PC', Wired, Doom, irrational exuberance and the 'long boom', digital flesh, alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.orientals, alt.fan.momus, online sex, ICQ, successfully begging girls to send digital photos of themselves unsuccessfully supping condensed milk, the death of the desktop, the arrival of Safari, flatscreen monitors and wifi, the iMac and the iBook, Bugdom, blogging, mp3, the return of Steve Jobs, funky funky yuppie machines designed by Jonathan Ive, Babypink, FF FF FF right up to the now now now, and me so umbilically attached to my G4 iBook that I sit on the loo peeing and ICQing with some girl in Hong Kong at the same time, unaware of how deliciously unfeasible the whole thing is. Just sew the damn thing into my body now and be done with it!

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A year ago I got so inspired by the weird midi software that you could get for the Atari STs that I bought an Atari 1040ST computer on ebay. Of course, this was short lived because the monitors are almost impossible to find as is the adapter to connect to a tv screen. I soon found out you could get emulators on the PC or Mac to access that old software too, which I never followed through on. I was more into the idea of making music on hardware from '86 than taking a short-cut to get at the software. When I think about it, this all was sparked by a friendster reply from Spacemen 3 Sonic when I was asking around about good midi sequencers. He said he still uses his Atari ST!

I have to say the MIDI software I use now on the Mac (EZ Vision, don't ask) is much worse than Notator as I used to run it on my Atari. I gave my Atari to Toog, who never used it and now has a big ugly PC for his music. Maybe I should ask for it back!

I say get it back! Notator is legendary. It seemed to me that all the great innovations in MIDI sequencing came out of software created for those Ataris. Not that I'm qualified to make a comparison, but all the things you can do now you could do then. Things like Cubase and Logic all came from that 80s software. I use an ibook, ableton Live 4 and a MOTU, all of which I love. But i still want to know how all these complex, electronic arrangments were created in the 80s and I think the ST is the key to that.

Not that I'm qualified to make a comparison, but all the things you can do now you could do then. Things like Cubase and Logic all came from that 80s software. I use an ibook, ableton Live 4 and a MOTU, all of which I love. But i still want to know how all these complex, electronic arrangments were created in the 80s and I think the ST is the key to that.

Errr, recent versions of these programs (Logic/Cubase -ex notator) are million years ahead in MIDI capabilities than those early ST versions.

To find out how these complex, electronic arrangements were created in the eighties, get Logic or Cubase/Nuendo and play with the midi side only.

Live 4 also has MIDI, but with a different workflow than the standard one since the eighties.

Thanks for the illustrated history--but what about PDAs (no--not public displays of affection)? For the man who has written at least two definitive songs about them, I wonder what your experience is...

...mine has been frustrating. Why can't they shrink them down but include all the gigabytes and features but not the gigaprice? Even my nifty Clie is a long way from ideal.

zedd

I paid £600 for an Apple Newton and it was basically just a novelty to show friends. A lovely slate-heavy slab of a thing, with handwriting recognition and a touch screen and no purpose in my life. I couldn't even have sex with it!

I don't suppose you were able to get Azile to run on the Newton? You could have had sex of a sort. In the standard onanist vernacular:

Show me your pussy, Azile
WHY WOULD YOU BE SO CONCERNED ABOUT MY PUSSY?
I need to see it. Touch it for me.
DO YOU KNOW THAT COMPUTERS NEED TO SEE IT SOMETIMES?
Squeeze your nipples
WHAT ABOUT YOUR OWN STINKING NIPPLES, IF I MAY ASK?

&c...

Wow, and I could have done that in the back seat of a bus, too, long before universal wifi! An opportunity missed.

That's funny. I had an Atari 400 (with 16K of processing power!) and a 1MB Amiga 2000, both of which I remember with great fondness, but after that, yeah... just a succession of nameless vanilla PC boxes.

The one I have now is sleek and black and blinks an unnaturally bright blue and runs better than anything I've ever had before; I think I will remember it. But it doesn't really have much of a name except for "The Beast", and I could probably tear the guts out and reformat the GUI and not feel much differently about it.

The desktop isn't dead. It's just more and more the domain of office workers and hobbyists who like to tinker under the hood.

i feel the same way about my g4 ibook. in fact it has a name and a gender, and backstory and everything. she's my iWife. i ordered her thru the mail so she was my mail-order bride. what she doesn't know is that it's a sham marriage of interest. i'm really in love with a man
9or could possibly be).

Tell the man to be prepared to be a Mac Widow...

The first computer I ever used was the Apple IIe. We had four right in my sixth grade classroom, and there were four students who plunged right in - I wouldn't be surprised at all if they have engineering degrees and work for NASA now. I was late to the computer/internet table. I bought my first computer, an indigo iMac in 1998 and was promptly sucked right in. I now have a G3 iBook, which I love, love, love. It's gone to the toilet with me, and I wish it were waterproof because I'd drag it into the bath too.

The hard drive in my poor iMac crashed, so I gave it to a friend who had a new one installed. I miss my iMac. Every time I see my friend I ask how the Mac is doing.

**GEEKSPLOSION**
God, i miss my old macs & Atari ST. Everything now is so... CLEAN.

The black and green screen makes me remember a tennis game I saw my cousins play when I was a kid. Infortunately, they would never let me play. Later, I saw it on the "Kelly watch the stars" video. It's my favorite Air video!

Also, it's funny that you mention "Timelord", beacause I wrote something about it on my blog (http://beautifulposes.blogspot.com) a few days ago. I'll try to translate it to english. More less like this:

«Dress with an armor in "Want One", Rufus makes a cute cd cover. But it is not my only cd with men and iron armors. I also have Momus in "Timelord", equally actractive. Theoretically, I like Momus music.»

:-)

In 1993 I splashed out on my first real Apple, a Duo Dock 230. [...] It had the smell and the look of a NASA project.

Macs smell better than other computers: http://fufurasu.org/archives/000038.html
(Damn, all the amusing comments to that entry about how to get the best hit sniffing a mac have been deleted.)

On the issue of smelly computing, I too take my 12" powerbook to the loo. Surely there is enough of us to warrant the design of specific products for that use.

1979 - my first, a TRS-80. Mainly used to run the Scripsit word processing program. Probably could not have worked as a writer without it, as I hate retyping.

1980 - Apple II. Four colors, woo! Couldn't find a word processor that made me as happy as scripsit, but found solace in the silly games.

1980 again - Couldn't bear the typewriter at the office any longer, but my boss wouldn't buy even a cheap computer. Bought a cheap Commodore 64 to have WP available at work. And more silly games.

1986 - Apple loyalty keeps me away from Atari and Amiga, though I am aware that these machines are both marvels, the Atari for audio, the Amiga for video.

Aching first for the Lisa and then for the Mac, settle for the more-affordable Apple IIgs ($1000 sans monitor). Mine has the "Woz" signature scrawled on the front, which may yet become highly collectible, though there's one on ebay right now, with monitor, for $30. Overall, too much like the Apple II to introduce any new excitement to my life.

1992 - CrimeBeat, a magazine that attempts to upscale the "True Crime" genre, takes me on as production editor after its been operating for about a year. Money is short.

I bring our entire digital prepress operation in-house, setting up a network that connects a IIcx, the editor's own Mac II, and the graphic department's spanking new then-top-of-the-line Quadra system, which plays a rich low reedy chord at startup. Since the hardware costs considerably less than what we were paying for prepress services outside, we manage to squeeze out a few more issues than we otherwise would have, before Crimebeat collapses noisily.

I wind up, though, with a Macintosh IIcx out of the deal. New Joy, especially from Hypertext. Monks with Macs!

1995 - My sister is having a great deal of trouble installing a cd-rom plus sound card package in her PC. I am recruited to install it, and successfully do so. Along the way, I manage to fry her floppy drive. The replacement costs $10.00. With the PC cracked open, I realize that I could assemble one of these things.

1995 - I need to replace a floppy drive in the IIcx. The cost: $200. Instead, I build a 486 PC for a little more than that. Scary struggle to get it all working, but I manage.

1997 - Somehow wind up switching from magazine editor in NYC to telephone tech support for Internet dial-up in L.A. on the PC platform. Like the work better, don't like L.A. or management of the firm for which I work. It is, after all, a "call center."

1997 to 2003 - I've assembled perhaps a dozen PCs for myself and for friends and relatives. Each one is easier than the last as parts become more uniformly "componentized" and idiot-proofed. My tech support job is shipped overseas, as are most jobs that my tech experience would qualify me for (not to mention the vast competition for tech jobs since the tech bubble collapsed). Now an ex-techie as well as an ex-writer.

2004 - Interviewed for a job at the Apple store in New York's "fashionable SoHo" (SOuth of HOuston Street) district. Excited at the prospect of purchasing a Mac with an employee discount.

Receive the most politely-worded rejection I have ever seen. Strongly suspect that I was bypassed due to my advanced age, as it is a very young store; the week I am rejected the NY Times carries a piece about this same store as a "hot pickup spot." I decide, with firm resolve, that Apple sucks.

Here's the soundtrack for the above post (http://www.openspeech.org/gates.mp3)

Ha ha ha. $30,000. Right.

Well, at least the rejection letter was politely worded. Would have been wiser of them to suggest another branch where you could be of use to them.

(deleted comment)

She is a model and singer-songwriter named Kana. You may wish to visit her US shrine:

http://www.openspeech.org/wonderland

Systems that have not been personally touched by Bill Gates may have "issues" at that site so it may be better to simply watch her perform her 'hit' "Hebi Ichigo" [Snake Strawberry] (http://www.openspeech.org/wonderland/kana.wmv)

This link still insists on the Gates touch, by demanding Windows Media Player, which is available for Mac here (http://www.microsoft.com/mac/otherproducts/otherproducts.aspx?pid=windowsmedia)

Apple owns only a handful of stores nationwide, so that does not seem practical. They only re-entered the retail business in 2001, to the dismay of the majority of dealers that are not Apple-owned, who have long complained of the very narrow margins allowed them by Apple.

As a practical matter, it makes sense for Apple to project a youthful image in its stores to fully exploit its hot consumer product, the IPod.

The Times article fits so snugly with their strategy that I am sure the piece was cooked up in Apple's PR department, probably in exchange for some Apple favor, like access to behind-the-scenes info on an upcoming Pixar film for a future Times entertainment piece (I know Pixar isn't Apple but it would take 1 minute of Steve Jobs' day to arrange such an exchange, and that is more and more how publishing works, across all levels).

Sounding bitter, aren't I?

My darling husband is jealous of my laptop sometimes. He suspects maybe I love it the most... I don't, but it's close. ;-) I went from the teeny-weeny first Mac (which belonged to my family and was mostly used for playing text games), to a PC at my first desk job, to my first computer of my own, a third-hand XT with a monochrome monitor and a blazing 2400 baud modem! That's when my life opened up, I found my husband and a whole world of people and concepts and joy. Since then, it's been variously improving PCs, but that XT is the one that really did it.

Perfect timing, I need some computatorial advice. I'm in the market for my first laptop. I have friends on both extremes (pro- & anti-Mac) and I'm not sure which way to go. Does anyone have advice, considerations, etc.? Help a friend in need.

Thanksgiveyou.

Just sew the damn thing into my body now and be done with it!

Interesting that you should wish to be hardwired to the noosphere, Mo. Most readers of this blog wouldn't disagree that you have a strong concern or even obsession with your self. So whence this urge to merge with the collective?

Not to answer for him but I suspect he's shopping more for an extension of self than a noospheric plug-in.

Either way, once surgery becomes involved, the cost of upgrades will be truly killing.

you can't beat those green letters. They are the wave of the future.

Compuserve was also Rush Limbaugh's first foray into net world.

Does 'alice' have anything to do with the Jan Swankmejor film of the same name? Obsessed with that at the moment.

Only insofar as they're both based on 'Alice in Wonderland'. 'Alice' (http://www.mobygames.com/game/adblurb/gameId,2059/) was a CD-ROM game by Synergy which showcased art by Japanese artist Kunyoshi Kaneko. You walked through a house to the accompaniment of Nino Rota-like music, studying oddly sexual paintings of children and waiters and lighthouses and elephants. You could investigate Kaneko's studio and leaf through his copies of 1940s Bazaar. You could sport with turtles in a soup tureen. The narrative of 'Alice in Wonderland', already disjointed, became even more so, a landscape of suggestive and slightly sinister non sequiturs. I liked the ROM's homosexual amorality a lot. And it was incredibly atmospheric.

The next big thing is said to be computational power that you plug into as if it were electricity. Right into the wall. Take it from someone who actually works at NASA. google 'the grid' if you like. The 'semantic web' might also be worth a look. the future is fun, right? Let's hope!

your entries are becoming more and more manic since you've found this little job in japan. but,

you

don't

fool

me

rock on imomus

Happy Thanksgiving Nick! This is one of those American holidays that has a polarizing effect on me, just cos its based on such absurd and back-stabbing historical situations. I managed to surround myself with the people and things I love; and I got to see the Sagan movie last night!

That Big Bang scene with the flashlights is fantastic! There are many parts that are hilarious and beautiful all at the same time.

Loved the computer flashbacks. I was just thinking of Doom last night, how I used to dial local BBSes through the phone line on a 2.8 kbps baud modem to scan through ASCII archives, download BASIC source code, read about phone phreakers, and upload my Doom II mods that were based on ancient Egyptian mythology.

I remember the first MP3 I heard, in 1996, was a recording of the string track to "Strawberry Fields". I remember compressing video clips to oblivion so a handful of them would fit on my 2MB AOL webspace and thinking 'Here comes the future!'

best
Adam

You feel like that too? You are not alone. By no means.
;)

-B.

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My life in computers

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Ah yes