Captain Stag, erotic communist's prick

[imomus]

Cars may be made by fewer and fewer -- and bigger and bigger -- companies worldwide, and those companies may be taking fewer and fewer risks with their design and naming strategies. But just about anyone can set up as a bicycle manufacturer, and make a zero emission vehicle with a zany name redolent of communism and sex. That's because bicycles are redolent of communism and sex. They're erotic as hell, and they're the future.



Bicycles come in all shapes and sizes and have the oddest names. Sure, I told you that I was driving a car called a Daihatsu Naked in Japan this summer, but as a bicycle rider I could have been having so much more fun riding a Captain Stag, an Erotic, a Communist or a Sprick. Like my new album 'Otto Spooky', or like the Shinto religion of Japan, bicycles have some earthy sexiness about them. They make everything they touch -- your body, the environment through which they pass -- better, healthier, greener. They're diverse, divergent, egalitarian, pluralistic, good for you, sexy.

On your bicycle you're rushing along at a comfortable yet exciting 25kph, and it feels like you're flying through the air. If you're in Tokyo or Berlin -- bicycle-friendly cities -- you're safe on the sidewalk or in a dedicated bicycle lane, and there are many other cyclists all around, a democratic mass. Two wheels good. As you pedal (and pedalling a bicycle, like walking and fucking but unlike driving a car, is a rhythmic activity, a pumping motion with a rising trot and its own systolic-diastolic interval) you're listening to your iPod. Track two of 'Otto Spooky' is coming up to the chorus:

Gaelic runes and harvest moons
Shinto dogs at the phallic symbol
Mustard seed and dandelion
A time to live, a time to die
Meet me in the waving leaves
The question mark in the scarecrow summer
Meet me out by the lemon trees
Pull me down, and pump me dry

'Ah,' you think, 'I must remember to pump up the tires soon! Gotta keep 'em hard...'

The green bicycle at the top right of my photo is a classic British Moulton (there is still a British bicycle industry, although British cars are for the most part a thing of the past) in the studio of graphic designer James Goggin, who is at this moment finishing two sleeves (the US and UK sleeves are quite different) for 'Otto Spooky'.

The photo below that is a glimpse of cultural commentator Reyner Banham pedalling his Moulton through the streets of London in the 1960s. I haven't shown you the whole photo -- which is superb, Banham with his full beard looks quite the groovy, cranky boffin as he pedals along -- because we're using this photo half-toned inside the CD sleeve, under the transparent panel behind the (crash hat hazard yellow) CD itself, and I want to keep it under wraps for the time being. But it's worth saying that Banham -- who wrote a great deal, in his book about Los Angeles, about cars at their most flamboyant, and yet remained, himself, flamboyantly bicycle-oriented to the end of his days -- has become, in a way, the personification, totem or mascot of Otto Spooky. It's 'Otto Spooky as played by Reyner Banham'. Reyner is right there on the sleeve. And 'the historian of the immediate future' is riding a Moulton.

Comments

[ex-ebb439.livejournal.com]

I miss my bike. It's sitting in my father in law's warehouse currently, as I do not have adequate storage space in my apartment. The really sad part is that I do not drive - don't even own a car, so I walk everywhere. I would love to ride my bike some days, but this area is not terribly bike friendly and it would surely be stolen or vandalized were I to lock it outside. This seems to be the case in most American cities and towns (unless you live in a small town). The bike in America is barely seen as an alternate (or even viable) form of transportation, instead it is regarded as a form of recreation, and you will see people driving places on the weekends to ride. Sad, sad, sad! It is illegal to ride bikes on the sidewalk here too - but there are rarely any bike lanes, so you run the risk of being mowed down by some jerk in a Hummer.

Would you mind if I posted a link to this post in my non_drivers community?

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

Some cities and towns are more amenable to bicycles than others. I hear Portland is rather hospitable.

[ex-ebb439.livejournal.com]

Some are, but they are definitely in the minority.

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

This is true. I wonder which major city might be deemed the most bicycle friendly. Amsterdam, perhaps? Beijing? I'm sure more astute voices than mine would have better suggestions.

[ex-ebb439.livejournal.com]

Beijing is on the verge of changing because I think China wants to push more car ownership. I shudder at the thought.

[mabsy.livejournal.com]

Portland is a wonderful town for cycling - it caters to daily commutes and leisurely weekend jaunts. Many of our city streets feature bike lanes and we also have a few dedicated, paved bicycle paths converted from old train tracks that take you through some surprisingly bucolic settings. The Springwater Trail, in particular, is very pleasant and flat for 25+ miles. Portland is not without hills, however, and I on my archaic, but indestructible, all-steel Raleigh 3-speed sometimes despair when fancy titanium bikes whiz by me during my daily uphill commute home. It is during these uphill slogs that "Tour de France" inevitably starts playing in my head.

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

The Fairmount Park in Philadelphia and the 25 mile trail along the Delaware River north of Trenton are good places to ride.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Be my guest.