People do dream about me, and people do write about me in TLS or wherever (although that's a first, if true). What's a blog to do, just pass over that in tactful silence (as you've so "kindly" done here)? Are we living in some kind of puritan age where to indulge the self is "a sin of spiritual pride"? I mean, I wouldn't be against it, but it would have to apply to everyone, not just me. You'd have to leave stinging remarks on Facebook when people posted photos of their new outfits, and contradict all those adverts that say "Because you deserve it".
Well, you've hit upon another aspect of Web 2.0 there Momus, although not one you're inclined to criticise. Sure, everyone is interested in themselves and what other people think of them. But Web 2.0 seems to magnify this impulse a thousandfold. I mean, can you imagine walking into a room of people and asking them all if they've dreamed about you lately, and could you please tell me all about the dreams you have about me? Or accosting people with a list of everything you've done in the noughties and what you think about it now? People who go on and on about themselves in "meatspace" tend to get pegged as bores, don't they? But not in the wonderful world of the Web, which is all about jostling, thrusting individualism.
People who go on and on about themselves in "meatspace" tend to get pegged as bores, don't they?
Well, I think that depends how they do it. You can be interested in yourself because you're interested in people, and in starting a conversation. A strong, healthy ego can engage us with others, whereas a shy, self-doubting, self-censoring ego is often the product of a certain misanthropy: "I'm not interesting" can often shade into "I'm not interested", just as "I don't like myself" can often shade into "I don't like other people".
I tend to get on rather well with "other" narcissists. I mean, I move in the world of artists, so of course I meet a lot of people who are, secretly or not-so-secretly, self-obsessed. Quite often, I'll play the supportive role in these relationships, the "wife". I'll ask more questions than I'll be asked in return. I think I'm rather indulgent with the self-indulgent, perhaps because I understand them and see their narcissism as a variety of humanism. The people I find really hard to deal with are gloomy self-haters and self-deprecators. I want to say to them: "At least try to believe you're attractive! If you can believe it, it'll start to come true!"
But us self-haters all know there's some anon-asshole around the corner just waiting to tell us how worthless we are based on our sub-intellectual "try" at it. I've had too many of these scenarios happen and then other pondersome "helpful" assholes wonder why people like me can't just "get on with it". Put this into your next blog: winners playing the victim...they win twice, by being better and then also getting the other side of it by slicing the losers down for making them suffer their complaining.. as if fielding the moans of the dying on the cold battlefield were the real secret tactic planned from the beginning. I'll try... and some asshole with 20 IQ points, a private school education, 2 Starbucks in their veins, real actual talent/beauty, and/or a trustfund on me will find me a boring conversation and slay me with some mercurial quotes and poetry that go over my head and leave me befuddled and feeling fucking stupid. Here I hover, between the clouds and the mud; too stinking of earth to play in the vapor yet too clean to ever want to slorp and ralf the excrement with the piggish hordes the other side, looking down, sees me as part of. You want to write about pulling "creepy" out of pejorative usage then take a good look at the type of creepy people there are and why it is they're actually creepy... another Malcolm Gladwell riff...what the dogs saw.
In fact we did exactly that in high school; except we passed notebooks around asking, “what do you think of me”? And it had anons and all. And people who did that where the cool kids, not the bores; the bores are the ones like me, who shied from such social shenaningans.
I’m with momus on this; I never got what’s up with you narcissism-puritanics. What’s wrong with being interested in oneself, and in people’s reactions to oneself? Are we to hold selfless religious monks as the ideal now? Sorry, I don’t buy it.
Yeah, I often dream about people I've read about, or people I've only ever had any contact with online.
It's no different to dreaming about characters from novels or films, say. Or even (shock, horror) people you actually know in real life...
I had a long sequence of dreams about Brother Justin from the TV series Carnivale, about getting into a fight with James Joyce (who was trying to seduce me at the time), a dreadful nightmare inspired by reading Lovecraft and listening to Ligeti, about bringing Borges back to life by gluing copies of his books together, a dream about Homer Simpson's head rotating on my kitchen floor and screaming...
So it would be very odd for someone who's Blog I read on a daily basis to never appear in any of my dreams!
Last night I dreamt I was trying to cheer Gordon Brown up a bit. He was crying in the corner of a cafe because everyone had been ganging up on him. Sarkozy was there, played by Danny DeVito, as well.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
imomus
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 08:38 am (UTC)PS: You are mentioned in this week's TLS. I'd tell you more, but you hardly need me to feed your self-obsession.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 10:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 10:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 11:15 am (UTC)Well, I think that depends how they do it. You can be interested in yourself because you're interested in people, and in starting a conversation. A strong, healthy ego can engage us with others, whereas a shy, self-doubting, self-censoring ego is often the product of a certain misanthropy: "I'm not interesting" can often shade into "I'm not interested", just as "I don't like myself" can often shade into "I don't like other people".
I tend to get on rather well with "other" narcissists. I mean, I move in the world of artists, so of course I meet a lot of people who are, secretly or not-so-secretly, self-obsessed. Quite often, I'll play the supportive role in these relationships, the "wife". I'll ask more questions than I'll be asked in return. I think I'm rather indulgent with the self-indulgent, perhaps because I understand them and see their narcissism as a variety of humanism. The people I find really hard to deal with are gloomy self-haters and self-deprecators. I want to say to them: "At least try to believe you're attractive! If you can believe it, it'll start to come true!"
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-18 11:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 08:24 pm (UTC)I’m with momus on this; I never got what’s up with you narcissism-puritanics. What’s wrong with being interested in oneself, and in people’s reactions to oneself? Are we to hold selfless religious monks as the ideal now? Sorry, I don’t buy it.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 10:56 am (UTC)It's no different to dreaming about characters from novels or films, say. Or even (shock, horror) people you actually know in real life...
I had a long sequence of dreams about Brother Justin from the TV series Carnivale, about getting into a fight with James Joyce (who was trying to seduce me at the time), a dreadful nightmare inspired by reading Lovecraft and listening to Ligeti, about bringing Borges back to life by gluing copies of his books together, a dream about Homer Simpson's head rotating on my kitchen floor and screaming...
So it would be very odd for someone who's Blog I read on a daily basis to never appear in any of my dreams!
Last night I dreamt I was trying to cheer Gordon Brown up a bit. He was crying in the corner of a cafe because everyone had been ganging up on him. Sarkozy was there, played by Danny DeVito, as well.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 11:01 am (UTC)I think Borges would rather appreciate someone bringing him back to life by gluing copies of his books together.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-13 11:08 am (UTC)Apologies for the accidental continuation of the italics throughout the last para btw: I accidentally forgot to close the 'em' tag.