Bono replaces Momus at the New York Times
Jan. 10th, 2009 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
imomusBack in April I ran an amusing piece on Click Opera entitled The Sting. It detailed a request -- one I was convinced at the time was a hoax -- for me to write a weekly column for the New York Times. For The Moment, the blog of their style magazine T, to be more precise. As I wrote at the time, I proposed a regular slot called The Post-Materialist. The American economy was sliding into recession, I reasoned, and soon the kind of bling featured on The Moment -- rooftop pools, watches as expensive as houses, a wine review column about perfume -- would be painful to read about. It would have people jumping off roofs rather than bathing in rooftop pools. Instead, I said, why not stress eco and ethical design, and make cheapskate lifestyles look glam? That way, people could lose everything and still feel they were gaining.
My analysis proved uncannily prescient -- five months later the American economy melted down more suddenly and catastrophically than anyone had expected. Ironically, the advent of real austerity made it increasingly difficult for the cash-strapped New York Times to afford a column of austerity chic. In late December they proposed halving my weekly fee. I said thanks, but no thanks. As a result, yesterday's column, A Pattern's Math Magic, may well be my last for The Moment. (You can read all 37 Post-Materialist columns -- on subjects from virtual water to the Large Hadron Collider -- here.)
The effect of real austerity on austerity chic wasn't the only irony involved in writing for The Moment. There was also the fact that the more I wrote about sackcloth and ashes, the better I could personally afford to splurge on Wii machines and Technics turntables. The more post-materialist I was in my writing, the more materialist I was able to become in my life. I didn't earn enough writing the column to be able to afford the kind of glitzy celeb lifestyle other columnists (paid better, or just masochistically "aspirational"?) described, but I was certainly able to make my apartment as nice as the shabby-chic ones seen in excellent interiors magazine Apartamento, which I covered in June.
Scrapping my Post-Materialist column just when post-materialism seems most relevant is a bit like being a staunchly Democratic op-ed columnist booted out when Obama comes to power -- there's something perverse about it, but also something logical. Post-materialist values are no longer oppositional, and may have lost some of their contentious glamour. By early December -- when I wrote to my editor wondering if we should hit the column on the head -- I'd begun to feel I was moving in ever-decreasing circles. There was a month or two when everyone I covered for The Post-Materialist turned out to be a friend of Mark Borthwick. I also felt that I was writing way too much journalism, and began to prioritize the design press, which pays about a dollar a word, over newspaper blogging which... doesn't.
The final irony -- reminiscent of the fact that Oasis signed to Creation literally a day after I was dropped from the label -- is that tomorrow Bono will start writing a regular column for the New York Times. In an article not entitled Bono replacing Momus at New York Times? the U2 singer is quoted as saying "I've never been great with the full stops or commas. Let's see how far we can take this."
Asked how much Bono would be paid, New York Times op-ed editor Andrew Rosenthal is quoted as saying "nothing". The moral of the story? No, it's not that those hungry Irish navvies will always undercut you on price, the bastards. It's -- surely -- that the New York Times, in Bono, have found a true post-materialist -- someone just too damned rich to give a damn about money.
My analysis proved uncannily prescient -- five months later the American economy melted down more suddenly and catastrophically than anyone had expected. Ironically, the advent of real austerity made it increasingly difficult for the cash-strapped New York Times to afford a column of austerity chic. In late December they proposed halving my weekly fee. I said thanks, but no thanks. As a result, yesterday's column, A Pattern's Math Magic, may well be my last for The Moment. (You can read all 37 Post-Materialist columns -- on subjects from virtual water to the Large Hadron Collider -- here.)
The effect of real austerity on austerity chic wasn't the only irony involved in writing for The Moment. There was also the fact that the more I wrote about sackcloth and ashes, the better I could personally afford to splurge on Wii machines and Technics turntables. The more post-materialist I was in my writing, the more materialist I was able to become in my life. I didn't earn enough writing the column to be able to afford the kind of glitzy celeb lifestyle other columnists (paid better, or just masochistically "aspirational"?) described, but I was certainly able to make my apartment as nice as the shabby-chic ones seen in excellent interiors magazine Apartamento, which I covered in June.
Scrapping my Post-Materialist column just when post-materialism seems most relevant is a bit like being a staunchly Democratic op-ed columnist booted out when Obama comes to power -- there's something perverse about it, but also something logical. Post-materialist values are no longer oppositional, and may have lost some of their contentious glamour. By early December -- when I wrote to my editor wondering if we should hit the column on the head -- I'd begun to feel I was moving in ever-decreasing circles. There was a month or two when everyone I covered for The Post-Materialist turned out to be a friend of Mark Borthwick. I also felt that I was writing way too much journalism, and began to prioritize the design press, which pays about a dollar a word, over newspaper blogging which... doesn't.
The final irony -- reminiscent of the fact that Oasis signed to Creation literally a day after I was dropped from the label -- is that tomorrow Bono will start writing a regular column for the New York Times. In an article not entitled Bono replacing Momus at New York Times? the U2 singer is quoted as saying "I've never been great with the full stops or commas. Let's see how far we can take this."
Asked how much Bono would be paid, New York Times op-ed editor Andrew Rosenthal is quoted as saying "nothing". The moral of the story? No, it's not that those hungry Irish navvies will always undercut you on price, the bastards. It's -- surely -- that the New York Times, in Bono, have found a true post-materialist -- someone just too damned rich to give a damn about money.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 09:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 09:24 am (UTC)apartamento
Date: 2009-01-10 10:25 am (UTC)Re: apartamento
Date: 2009-01-10 10:54 am (UTC)See, this is why I have to stop -- it's all blurring in my head into one big feature.
Re: apartamento
Date: 2009-01-11 02:09 pm (UTC)Re: apartamento
Date: 2009-01-11 02:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 10:43 am (UTC)I'm sorry to see your column go!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 12:02 pm (UTC)that sentence = lunch
A relatively nice sit-down lunch too
Dear me, perhaps I should go to art school - that's where the money is
On another topic, I like this post an awful lot. The last paragraph in particular reminds me of your old digital fop persona.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 12:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 01:54 pm (UTC)1. Commission comes in to interview designer I know nothing about.
2. Research this designer, decide I like his work, agree.
3. Chase designer by email and phone, trying to schedule interview.
4. After some negotiation on dates (involving my schedule, his, and print deadline), agree date.
5. Arrive at designer's studio, find him charming but busy, interview him.
6. Get home and transcribe lengthy chunks of video (a really horrible job).
7. More internet research, following up on what designer has said.
8. Write story. More research. Rewrite story. Decide it reads okay.
9. Submit story to editor and designer. Editor comes back with requests for rewritings and clarifications in several areas.
10. More research, as I answer editor's questions.
11. Re-submit piece.
12. About three months later, after the print magazine has appeared and the story has run, invoice publication for a dollar a word. Receive money several weeks after sending invoice.
And remember that while all this is going on, you're working on about six other writing assignments as well, each involving some step in the same process, and most paid at a rate much lower than a dollar a word.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 02:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 02:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 02:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 02:43 pm (UTC)First journalist: Oh, there's that rock star who blogs for The Times. He doesn't even transcribe his own interview tapes, you know.
Second journalist: Really?
First journalist: No, he sends the tapes to Brazil and gets someone to do it for him cheap.
Third journalist: Screw "cheap", I heard he uses sweatshop slave labour! Doesn't pay a dime! So much for all those concerned "ethical" articles he writes!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 03:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 10:56 pm (UTC)Just you wait, one of these days my debut will take the art world by storm! Yeah...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 03:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 12:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 01:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 02:13 pm (UTC)Good riddance?
Date: 2009-01-10 02:20 pm (UTC)(Personally I hate it when Yankees say things like "Have you read The Times?" To which I always answer, "Which one--Los Angeles? London? etc." The same way they'll say "the City" and assume you know they mean New York City, not Boston or anywhere else.) Besides, what's a paper without comics? (And without Momus, now they're truly without comics.)
Maybe you should charge each one of us a dollar a word just to read them!
Re: Good riddance?
Date: 2009-01-10 02:35 pm (UTC)Man, those are some stupid Yankees. Don't worry, virtually American outside the NYC metro area would get that kind of lingo either.
Re: Good riddance?
Date: 2009-01-10 08:01 pm (UTC)Re: Good riddance?
Date: 2009-01-11 05:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 02:38 pm (UTC)I love his confidence. But he is right. After all, not being much good with the singing and dancing has never held him back in his other career.
Celebirty outsourcing
Date: 2009-01-10 03:05 pm (UTC)But why stop there? Britney Spears could come 'round to do my laundry. Tom Cruise would be handy cleaning your house and doing a little yard-work. Beyonce could answer overworked mothers' correspondence, and so on. As we've seen on TV, a lot of celebs just love to cook and decorate, so they'd be welcome any hour of the day, in any room! We'll all have more free time and more money to spend. It's a win-win. Obama, are you listening? Let's all try this exciting new method to jump-start our economy.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 05:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 07:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 09:39 pm (UTC)I always wondered if Python did their own laugh tracks as they are on their own oddly hysterical.
If Beyonce could answer!
Date: 2009-01-11 10:00 pm (UTC)He went on and on about it not really making him a bad doctor if it only happened once , so that placated the doctor's ego slightly, however at the end of it, he told the priest that he would try to become a better veterinarian.
An analogy could exist in all this about working in the commercial sphere.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 04:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 06:24 am (UTC)Surprised you haven't commented on this yet:
http://www.theselby.com/
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 11:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 06:35 pm (UTC)mom you must read this! OFF TOPIC*
Date: 2009-01-11 09:55 am (UTC)Re: mom you must read this! OFF TOPIC*
Date: 2009-01-11 11:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 11:22 am (UTC)I feel sorry for them, but...
Date: 2009-01-11 09:46 pm (UTC)http://journal.davidbyrne.com/2008/12/121808-no-more-news.html
I feel sorry for those but anyhow I can still read you here, and here
http://www.playgroundmag.net/
at least not everyone is as dumb, though I know that doesn't pay your non-post-materialist lifestyle dear Momus.
but as good kid eating with mom beside threating, I would say.
http://www.fotolog.com/ohsombra/17944492
hugs
ciao ciao
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 10:15 pm (UTC)too bad about losing the column though, too bad.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-11 10:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-12 01:18 am (UTC)what's next on the agenda? oh yes, 'the book of other people's jokes' getting savaged on whatever little blog actually bothers to review it.
at least you'll have no cause to take it personally.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-12 04:10 am (UTC)(I can't believe I'm allowed to do this on the internet!)
Post The Post-Materialist
Date: 2009-01-12 05:23 pm (UTC)It was a pleasure working with you. It is clear that your column on the Times site will be missed. As I mentioned before, I'd love to have you write again any time. Maybe you'll reconsider when your Wii gives up the ghost! We should do a retrospective post before you go... I'll never forget your "5,000 Years of Chairs in 5 Minutes" video. http://tinyurl.com/9t9olc
All Best,
J.P.
The Moment
http://themoment.blogs.nytimes.com
Re: Post The Post-Materialist
Date: 2009-01-15 09:34 am (UTC)Now I'm going to try and find that Bono piece in Sunday's paper -- perhaps he really can write (I know for sure that you guys can edit, even if he can't)!
Re: Post The Post-Materialist
Date: 2009-01-15 09:58 am (UTC)Plenty of name-dropping ("Things Frank Sinatra said to me") but then a rather big clunky error, where he thinks Nelson Riddle arranged My Way, when in fact it was Don Costa. Whoops!