7 days, 7 jokes
Nov. 7th, 2007 09:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
imomusA Spoken Word Exhibition at New York's Swiss Institute ends today -- though the Performa Biennial it's part of continues -- so I've just emailed the gallery staff the last of the seven Bob Newart jokes they're being asked to whisper to visitors. Here's the complete set. As happens in Chinese Whispers-type games, these jokes sometimes got garbled in the telling (and they were garbled enough to begin with!). A spy I sent to the gallery told me, for instance, that the three bulls in Friday's joke became, for her, three bows. Mistakes are a way of generating the new... or sometimes just uneasy laughter.
Thursday November 1st
A man walked into a doctor's waiting room and the room blew down. "I thought you were a waiter", said the man. "I lost patients," said the room.
Friday November 2nd
There were three bulls, legging it across a field. One of them was a green bull, one of them a blue bull, and the other had to look in the mirror.
Saturday November 3rd
A mutilator was humiliating in a haystack. "Stop!" cried the resultant children.
Sunday November 4th
A king walked into a McDonalds. "Give me two women," he said to the man behind the counter. "Keep your voice down," said the man, "I'm scared too".
Monday November 5th
"Who's that seedy comedian -- the one who takes his clothes off in the gallery?"
"Acconci?"
"No, Bob Newart."
Tuesday November 6th
There were three black dwarves who lived in a tall white cylindrical house on the cliffs. One stormy night an icy winter gale whipped up and howled. The three dwarves climbed the spiral staircase to bed and switched off the light. Next morning, several hundred bodies were found on the beach. They were lighthouse keepers.
Wednesday November 7th
An English, an Irish and a Scottish pussy cat were asked their favourite prey. "Dumplings," said the Irishman.
Thursday November 1st
A man walked into a doctor's waiting room and the room blew down. "I thought you were a waiter", said the man. "I lost patients," said the room.
Friday November 2nd
There were three bulls, legging it across a field. One of them was a green bull, one of them a blue bull, and the other had to look in the mirror.
Saturday November 3rd
A mutilator was humiliating in a haystack. "Stop!" cried the resultant children.
Sunday November 4th
A king walked into a McDonalds. "Give me two women," he said to the man behind the counter. "Keep your voice down," said the man, "I'm scared too".
Monday November 5th
"Who's that seedy comedian -- the one who takes his clothes off in the gallery?"
"Acconci?"
"No, Bob Newart."
Tuesday November 6th
There were three black dwarves who lived in a tall white cylindrical house on the cliffs. One stormy night an icy winter gale whipped up and howled. The three dwarves climbed the spiral staircase to bed and switched off the light. Next morning, several hundred bodies were found on the beach. They were lighthouse keepers.
Wednesday November 7th
An English, an Irish and a Scottish pussy cat were asked their favourite prey. "Dumplings," said the Irishman.
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Date: 2007-11-08 04:53 am (UTC)