Hairnets and Haredim

[imomus]

Yesterday Hisae was trimming her hair. When she'd finished, she collected a handful of cut black hair and showed it to me. "I could wear your hair on my head!" I said, and we started arranging her hair on top of mine. It was quite easy to tease it into styles then fix them with hair spray.



We'd decided to go to lunch at Imren, a devoutly Muslim kebab restaurant near our house. I found that my borrowed black hair looked better when held in place by a hat, but the final effect was uncannily Hasidic. The impression was enhanced by forecurls and strings hanging off my trousers (yachting pants that tie up at various places on the leg). I found myself adopting a walk to match the look: the "Williamsburg Bridge Walk" -- stooped forward with concave shoulders, looking neither left nor right, hurrying anxiously to my destination. I got some long, strange looks at Imren -- the kind of place where, on Fridays, the staff chant "Allah, Allah" as they carve at the meat wheel.

Later, I went to Olly Prestele's new Cocolo ramen restaurant (now open daily at Gippstrasse 3 in Mitte) with neighbours Lina and Jan. At Lina's birthday party in a bar nearby I met about ten people I'd never met before. They took me, black hair and all, at face value, as we all tend to do (after all, you don't tug a stranger's beard to see if it's real). I asked a Canadian girl called Lee if she'd noticed anything strange about my hair -- confessing that it actually belonged to my girlfriend. "Now you mention it, I did think you might be wearing a hairnet," she said. "But I assumed that hairnets were just the latest trendy thing around here."

Comments

[hook-and-eyelet.livejournal.com]

After a mostly nice haircut last week, I was left with an unsightly clump of bangs. I trimmed it off whilst Paul was at work today. I left it in our bathroom garbage can, but I still think it would be lovely if I could affix it onto his ever-expanding bald spot.

[alphacomp.livejournal.com]

There's something almost Phil Oakey-ish about it!

[(Anonymous)]

You like taking pictures of yourself, don't you? More than your girlfriend.
Most Hasidim wear the big fur Shtreimel, originating in the cold climes of Russia. Looks a bit hot in NY and Jerusalem.

Of Hasidim, only Chabad-Lubavitch wear the pork-pie Fedora. It's mainly associated with non-Hasidic "Ultra-Orthodox". So your title your read "Hairnets and HAREDIM".

Amongst anti-semites, the ignorance of the differences in Judaism is often a signifying characteristic. They rarely dress up as a Der Sturmer style caricature though.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

That definition of anti-semitism is a generously inclusive one, Anon. It makes the mere failure to be an expert into an assumed hatred. A wonderful technique for anyone who actually wanted to create enemies where previously there were none. (But who would actually want this?)

Using your technique, I could say, for instance, that ignorance of my motives for wearing my girlfriend's hair on my head (playfulness and some thinning of my own hair) made you my enemy. But I prefer to think of you as a potential friend. Life's too short, ne?

[desant012.livejournal.com]

Ah, the Chabad. "Excuse me, is your mother Jewish?"

nanikore!!?

[joji-poji.livejournal.com]

this brightened up my day...

Re: nanikore!!?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Hi Joji!

I suppose what's going on here is play, but it's also visual "miscegenation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscegenation)": interesting that a blond Scot balancing Japanese hair on his head should land, unexpectedly, at the halfway point between occident and orient: the Middle East.

stranger's beard

[pay-option07.livejournal.com]

A handsome couple at the meat wheel.
Sounds like an old fashion Glasgow Fair!

http://www1.ntv.co.jp/news/wmtram/news.cgi?movie=070317011.cgi.300k.79546.html

Re: stranger's beard

[imomus.livejournal.com]

That report, for those who don't speak Japanese, concerns a bride whose marriage forces her to say goodbye to her family. She's from the Golan Heights, originally Syrian, but occupied by the Israelis, and administered by the UN with frequent interventions from the International Red Cross. Israel and Syria are still hostile to each other, so there's no free passage over the border. A bride from the Israeli side marrying a Syrian (the one featured in the video report married a Syrian she met in Jordan) must, once she decides to live with him in Syria, face the fact that she may never return to her family home. At present all Israel-Syria peace negotiations have been broken off.

[peripherus-max.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one who sees this as fantastically erotic? :)

Erotic Hair!

[rinusvanalebeek.livejournal.com]

Yesterday I suddenly thought of the biblical scene where Maria Magdalena dried Jesus' feet with her hair. She had long hair. And Jesus was sitting on a chair.

But try,
Hair has a very erotic feel about it, sometimes.

[electricwitch.livejournal.com]

HAhaha, I love this post. Momus the space jew, it is brilliance.

[electricwitch.livejournal.com]

PS: next time you should curl it first and be Marc Bolan. Though that may only seem like a good idea to me.

[nicepimmelkarl.livejournal.com]

wrong blog

[insomnia.livejournal.com]

I, for one, am glad she didn't shave her legs too.

[freedomsucks.livejournal.com]

you so beautiful.
arent you

[(Anonymous)]

I like the secondhand hair, atleast from afar; it has a taste of Diamanda Galas on vacation. And if you somehow stumble down a dark pathway and loose your sense of direction away from all civilization you can always eat it for nutrience.
love,
John F.F.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I didn't eat it. I pulled it out at 2am on the Torstrasse in clumps. A man approaching stood and stared. It must have looked odd: a fellow -- apparently syphyllitic or plague-ridden -- tearing his own hair out and throwing it in handfulls to the ground.

cute!

[(Anonymous)]

Aw, I thought this was a cute entry. It's cute that Hisae cuts her hair at home. I cut my boyfriend's hair for him, and he likes my sloppiness better than the salon. I have a request: can you do a special on Hisae's hair? I love her hair styles! -Monique

Re: cute!

[imomus.livejournal.com]

She actually went to a salon last week -- we have a trendy one in the building where we live -- but wanted to change it herself, make it shorter. She ended up cutting quite a lot.

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

It's a new kind of transvestism, isn't it?

Brings to mind hair wreaths:

http://www.rootsweb.com/~srgp/articles/hairwrea.htm

[nicepimmelkarl.livejournal.com]

5.99

the world is in need of your thoughts through words

[(Anonymous)]

you dont look quite healthy in the photos, perhaps you were aware of this. do take good care of yourself.

Re: the world is in need of your thoughts through words

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I think what passes for healthy in California and what passes for healthy here in Berlin may be different things. Then again, is Phil Spector considered healthy?

[alphacomp.livejournal.com]

http://pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/41660/Momus_Ocky_Milk

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Woah! Better late than never! The mark isn't exceptionally high, but it's an even-handed review, and it matters to me that they ran it. Pitchfork is, in a sense, the "paper of record".

[butterflyrobert.livejournal.com]

Now I don't feel so alone anymore...

re: accusations of anti-semitism

[som-o.livejournal.com]

this play with/allusion to (maybe-)haredism/hasidism just does not qualify as antisemitism.
i think we could read it as un-antisemitic, productive performance. especially in germany, where a lot off people are even afraid to say the word 'jewish.'

Re: accusations of anti-semitism

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I often wonder how much fear of the other is wrapped up in fear of offending the other. Sometimes the plea to take away offensive images of the other contains a hidden plea to take away the other itself. For instance, the erasure from our culture of golliwogs and Darkie toothpaste is an erasure of images (albeit "incorrect" ones) of negritude, a making-taboo which includes a wish to end a certain kind of embarrassing conversation -- the kind children have when they name things we all know, but know to keep silent. Shhhh! The thing is, there can be no end to this sort of erasure. Finally, the offence said to be inherent only in certain images and words is inherent (to a greater or lesser extent) in them all, so erasing the offence is tantamount to erasing the category. The identity of the other and the offense against it are inseparable.

querido momus,

[petitfaune.livejournal.com]

I find it disturbing that amongst this enormous flow of pictures of yourself you post, there are so few pictures of Hisae. But then maybe she doesn't like to get her picture taken. A pity. Her hair looks great by the way (on herself), yours is alright on it's own.

Re: querido momus,

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Sorry, another one! I'm sick!

[nicepimmelkarl.livejournal.com]

hair. yeah right. webber geezer. jesus christ. no drugs. ethical.
just like this fella. other.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Momus

[beketaten.livejournal.com]

Sexy time. Oh yes.

a boy called Sue

[(Anonymous)]

I asked a Canadian girl called Lee

Is it a British English thing to say 'called' instead of 'named', or an old fashioned thing? I always perceived it as a deliberate attempt to be cute or literary.

--a Canadian girl called anonymous

Re: a boy called Sue

[(Anonymous)]

"Is it a British English thing to say 'called' instead of 'named'"

Yes.

[(Anonymous)]

am i the only one who finds it quite disgusting.