Being narsty to carnts

[imomus]

I think I was probably the narstiest person in my family, but it wasn't major stuff. I nicknamed my sister "Little White Pig" just in case my mother's affectionate name for her, "Little White Pet", went to her head. It was for her own good, you understand. Apart from that, everyone in my family was gentle and supportive and civilized to each other. We grew up in an atmosphere of mutual support and kindness which only broke down into mildly sarcastic recrimination when my parents divorced.



Where I really learned about narstiness, though, was at boarding school. Between the ages of 9 and 13 I received a full crash-course in it. I was physically and mentally tortured, and I learned the extreme difference between running with an in-group and being an out-group of one. (Clue: It was mainly that you didn't get beaten up daily.) Now, although my ultraviolent public school was particularly British (think Lindsay Anderson's "if..."), I won't argue here that narstiness is an entirely British pursuit. There are massacres, torture, cursings and stonings all over the world. But I do find that a certain kind of low-level narstiness is considered acceptable and even amusing in the UK. Narstiness (rather than outright brutality, let's say) seems inherently British.

I don't just see this in Britain's notoriously narsty tabloids, although I think an unholy alliance between Rupert Murdoch and British class hatred has a lot to answer for. It's all over the blogs and bulletin boards I read, the ones frequented by British people, anyway. You can't read far without being forced to agree or disagree with the proposition that someone is a "carnt". One friend's recent blog entries ("friends only", so I won't link them here) have identified several.

There's the woman who exaggerated the damage to her Collier's Wood home caused by a recent freak tornado. She's a carnt, apparently, because she said, in an article for the Standard, things like "My home has always been my sanctuary, a place of exquisite beauty and calm." I'm not quite sure, but I think Caroline Phillips is supposed to be an acceptable target because she's precious, hysterical and bourgeois. Perhaps also because her house really is nicer than ours, or was before the freak tornado struck. Anyway, she had to close the comments thread on her LiveJournal because so many people were dropping in to call her a carnt.

Next there's Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik, who split from his TV weather presenter girlfriend in order to date one half of East European novelty pop outfit The Cheeky Girls, known in the UK for their saucy seaside postcard pop hit "Touch My Bum". My friend links to the BBC article about this earth-shaking event (and I'm rather surprised the BBC -- still, I think, a public service broadcaster and not a tabloid newspaper -- covered it, unless their agenda is being set by the tabloids) with the terse comment "What a twat". Again, I'm not quite sure what this man's error is. Dating a pretty Romanian novelty singer? Splitting up with a weather presenter to do so? Exchanging a partner close to his own age for a younger one, or a British partner for a foreign one? Whatever it is, the comments thread more or less agreed that Tornado Lady and Cheeky Man have rendered all satire irrelevant.

Things get truly narsty, though, when the news story involves an alleged serial killer. When the police arrested their first suspect in the Suffolk Strangler case this week, the British press made a big deal of the fact that the man was called Tom and had a MySpace page. Despite stern warnings from Suffolk police that the man's name not be released, the Mirror published an article about him on Sunday, and the whole British media then set about discovering everything they could about the Tesco manager, including publishing links to his MySpace page. One of his seven friends was a woman, and this woman's MySpace page quickly filled up with abusive comments. She too was apparently a "carnt" for having friended the suspect. I suppose it's the internet-age equivalent of being stoned in the market square. Anyway, the following day the police found a new suspect.

Personally, I blame Rupert Murdoch for the virulent state of British narstiness, and the large number of carnts per square metre -- sorry, foot -- in the UK. Of course, by pointing the finger at a narsty carnt myself, I'm playing the national sport. But, don't you see, if we all agree that there's just one gigantic narsty carnt in the world, we can all love each other unconditionally. If not forever, at least until Rupert pops his clogs. As those Dutch carnts would put it.

Comments

[33mhz.livejournal.com]

One of his seven friends was a woman, and this woman's MySpace page quickly filled up with abusive comments. She too was apparently a "carnt" for having friended the suspect. I suppose it's the internet-age equivalent of being stoned in the market square.

This reminds me strongly of the plot to the Lost Honor of Katharina Blum, in which an everyday woman is publically reviled for unknowingly hooking up with someone who had committed some act of terrorism earlier that day.

[qscrisp.livejournal.com]

I wonder if anyone will accuse you of being essentialist here?

I agree, though. It's a strange mix of moral aggression and something else. I'm not quite sure what the something else is, though. The family I grew up in (my family) are not particularly British (teetotal, no football-supporting etc.) and when I eventually began to make friends and see them socially, it took me a long time to adjust to the fact that banter basically consisted in insulting each other and calling each other, well, carnts. I did get used to it, though, more or less.

As for Rupert Murdoch, well, you know what he is.

[barnacle.livejournal.com]

The saga of Lembit Opik's rock-star love-life cheers me up every time I read about it. I love the idea of this geeky chap with a cockeyed chirpy grin getting all these glamour-pusses, for various reasons of personality that probably won't suffer being discussed in depth.

So far I've only been able to find it consistently heartwarming. I didn't realise that scuttlebutt on Tw@ Your Say was that he's a carnt. I can't say that knowledge has stopped me wanting to go for a drink with him.

(The only bum note in the whole affair is the Popbitch rumour about Sian Lloyd. If you've heard it, you'll know what I mean.)

[rhodri.livejournal.com]

1. Caroline Phillips received two kinds of rollocking. The first, which was entirely deserved, is because her smug, badly written account of her house being hit by a tornado is full of irrelevant references to her friends' occupations and the exquisite detailing of her home. She didn't even exaggerate the damage! She's just a "lifestyle" journalist thrust unwittingly into the middle of a news story. It's a hilarious read. There was no viciousness intended, but the thing had to be spread around, and the LiveJournal in question was created (not by me, or indeed her) because the article failed to appear online; the comments thread was closed because of the SECOND kind of rollicking she received, which was deep-seated in class war and made for deeply uncomfortable reading.

2. Opik was an idiot long before the Cheeky Girls incident; his shenanigans have been referenced on Popbitch, and I just think he's an unsavoury character. He's always sought out maximum publicity for himself - always an irritating trait in an MP - and is confused enough to be, uh, delighted and surprised at the attention focused on him as a result of having a 2-week relationship with one half of a novelty act. Co-incidentally, in last week's Private Eye, there's a feature about the Cheeky Girls which talks about how they've broken the terms of their immigration agreement by failing to provide proper financial information to the Home Office; the internal HO memo says: "It is likely that the Cheeky Girls may themselves involve the tabloid press to draw attention to their situation and obtain some free publicity."

1 & 2: both fairly good reasons to have a pop at someone. I wouldn't call either of them c#nts, though, as I'm sure you know.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not quite sure why you're so obsessed with Rupert Murdoch and why he should be any worse than your Conrad Blacks, Richard Desmonds or any other media mogul. In fact, unlike them, there's a rather interesting side to Murdoch. Apparently he's something of a culture vulture. I know someone who works on the Murdoch-owned Times Literary Supplement, and he tells me Murdoch will phone up to discuss an article that's been published, or to suggest one. He's also recently set up a sort of Australian version of the TLS, the Australian Literary Review (almost certainly loss-making).

[rhodri.livejournal.com]

I haven't heard that one, but the Opik one is pretty astonishing, and I had it confirmed to me by a friend of a friend who's a LibDem councillor. Was a LibDem councillor.

[mippy.livejournal.com]

Low-level narstiness is one of the things I love about Britain. Alright, my knowledge of US newspapers/music press is pretty limited, but they're so *reverent*.

And there is never anything wrong with slagging off poor journalism.

[insomnia.livejournal.com]

Although my mother was British, and I lived in Britain for awhile in my childhood, the thing I least understand about the British isn't their nasty streak, but their Conservative Party streak.

You'd think one dose of Thatcherism would be enough for any country's memory, and that a repudiation of failed "New Labour" would lead to a desire to supporting either a less centrist Labour government, or the LibDems, but no, everyone apparently luurves David Cameron (http://politics.guardian.co.uk/polls/story/0,,1975783,00.html), and the LibDems, who were essentially right about all the big national issues for most of this decade, are slipping again.

I think what it comes down to is that my England was pretty idyllic anyway, tucked away in the Cotswolds, and I didn't have to deal with the development of "carnt culture"... which is, no doubt, directly tied to the success of the Conservatives.

The media behind "carnt culture" thrives on tapping into the perceptions of victimization by its audience -- primarily by well-off white males -- in a way that's always angry and generally a bit racist, albeit in a socially acceptable manner. The goal isn't to provoke a mob to anger, as in soccer hooliganism, but, rather, to provoke a mob to quiet, socially acceptable intolerance and repression, and a gradual erosion of civil liberties. "Carnt culture" proudly promotes patriotic intolerance for other British who are suspect / carnts.

Carnt culture dictates that all British be angry and intolerant about something and someone, all the time. The audience for carnt culture cannot be sated by societal changes that you would think might placate them, because there's always another outrage to complain about that pushes the cultural war that much further towards previously inconceivable levels of socially acceptable repression.

Media pushing carnt culture in Britain works reliably and achieves its objectives in Britain, just like it works wonderfully in the U.S., under the auspices of Fox News. And, surprisingly, it seem to work reliably over a long period of time, because it fills a basic need for a lot of people.

Ultimately, politicians are forced to show obedience to carnt culture, or else they won't get elected, so whether you back Labour or the Conservatives, you can be sure you're supporting someone who will tolerate an ever expanding culture of carntishness.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

It's amusing, I've now got the Times' Asia correspondent, Richard Lloyd Parry, all upset because I basically called him a carnt in a comment attached to yesterday's entry (http://imomus.livejournal.com/249096.html). He also thinks my attacks on Murdoch are "lazy".

Unfortunately, no amount of empirical data about Murdoch's good deeds (yes, he may be literary, yes, he has a Chinese wife and lives in a trendy SoHo loft, yes, he doesn't like the British royal family) can change my mind about his influence on public life in the UK and elsewhere. It's theological, an article of faith. I desperately want him to fail in Japan. In fact, I desperately want him to fail everywhere, except perhaps in the abolition of the UK monarchy.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

(And by the way we all know why he has a Chinese wife.)

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Are you saying we should blame PopBitch instead of Rupert Murdoch for this "open season" mentality? Or do you think it's something inherently British? Or, indeed, human?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I didn't have to deal with the development of "carnt culture"... which is, no doubt, directly tied to the success of the Conservatives.

Yes, and the Thatcherite culture of vilification of immigrants, "naming and shaming" and the "short sharp shock" continues under Blair, even if stuff like Section 28 doesn't. It continues because it taps into a public mood very like the one picked up in the US by American Environics (http://imomus.livejournal.com/169070.html) marketers:

"Environics found social values moving away from the authority end of the scale, with its emphasis on responsibility, duty, and tradition, to a more atomized, rage-filled outlook that values consumption, sexual permissiveness, and xenophobia. The trend was toward values in the individuality quadrant."

[(Anonymous)]

To paraphrase something I've just read, America is the "Can do" country, Britain the "Carnt do" and Australia the "Won't do".

[imomus.livejournal.com]

(But of course Cameron is succeeding by being a "nice guy" -- you can't out-Thatcher blair, so you need to do something else. Which is basically to re-invent... John Major.)

[imomus.livejournal.com]

If only Rupert Murdoch were an Australian citizen!

[mcgazz.livejournal.com]

I agree completely with rhodri on Caroline Phillips. Anyone who uses being hit by a tornado to namedrop friends and brag about her interior design is going to get less sympathy from me. Are you suggesting we go back to being a (one) nation of cap-doffing proles who know our place and don't dare to criticise lower middle class airheads because their floating shelves are American Walnut rather than veneered chipboard?

Maybe the Japanese need to be a bit more 'narsty' - businessmen who pay for sex with 12 year olds are, at the end of the day, 'carnts'.

[mcgazz.livejournal.com]

Note how my post above is a beautiful example of British low-level nastiness ;-)

[rhodri.livejournal.com]

I think there are a lot of fairly unhappy people around who derive pleasure from sitting at their keyboards and pouring out vitriol from the safety and anonymity of an IP address. I'm working up to a entry about the pointlessness of political blogging - state a point of view, sit back and watch people insult each other - which amounts to the same thing. I'd like to think that if I call someone a cretin, I'm doing it for a good reason, but maybe I'm as bad as everyone else. As to who is to blame... I dunno. Caroline Phillips?

[(Anonymous)]

For the same reason you have a Japanese fiancee?

Murdoch didn't invent tabloid culture, and it won't be significantly any different after he's gone. He's just a soft target. I also detect a certain snobbery (not in you, but in general) in the relentless focus on Murdoch, because he's from the Colonies and dared mess with the British media. I'm no apologist for Murdoch, but I can't see why he's particularly different or more worthy of opprobrium than any other media mogul.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

For the same reason you have a Japanese fiancee?

My relationship with Hisae doesn't give me access to the world's largest, fastest-growing media market, alas.

You'll be telling me next that Murdoch is only an American citizen because he likes the passport design.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you may have hit on the crux of it. In this respect and many others, Britain seems to have bounced from one earlier extreme to its opposite. From being an orderly, deferential, class-based society we've gone to yelling "carnt" at anyone in a position of authority. From making do with very little and being very un-showy, we've become a nation of voracious and wasteful consumers. I think it's probably inevitable, but I doubt it'll last forever.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

the pointlessness of political blogging

I call this being lost in the wilderness of opinion (http://www.wired.com/news/columns/1,70844-0.html). There's a text-v-texture angle to it too:

"I hope to follow "The Wilderness of Opinion" in my autobiography with a chapter entitled 'In the Realm of the Onion'."

[(Anonymous)]

My relationship with Hisae doesn't give me access to the world's largest, fastest-growing media market, alas.

See, this is what I call "moronic cynicism". You really think he married Wendi Deng for access to the Chinese market rather than, for example, the fact that she's a lithe, pretty Asian girl decades younger than him? Why be complicated when you can be simple?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Right, and his American passport is lithe, pretty, and decades younger than him too.

Imprecision

[(Anonymous)]

"All upset" isn't really an accurate description of my views. "Underwhelmed by laziness and lack of intellectual rigour" would be closer. Anyone who gives a damn can scrutinise the comments on the previous post.

from ... the Times' Asia correspondent, Richard Lloyd Parry