Entropy cotton

[imomus]

You go into a clothes shop and pull open some T-shirts to look at the designs. But when you try to put them back on the shelf, you simply can't achieve the necessary level of folding perfection. You make pathetic attempts to smooth rumples and tuck in sleeves, but it seems your level of personal culture is inadequate. This is something you weren't taught at school or university. It's something you will never learn. "Just leave it, we'll fix that," says the sales assistant with a kindly smile that doesn't quite hide some shade of supercilious pity, exasperation and derision. You exit the shop apologetically, leaving a crumpled mess of "entropy cotton" behind you.



Well, thanks to Japanese YouTube select site Qooqle Video Clippers I have found a way never again to be that inadequate loser. With this instructional video on how to fold T-shirts, not only will you be able to hold your head high on your next visit to Graniph, you'll be able to turn your own bedroom into something almost as beautiful.

Who'd have thought folding T-shirts was so simple? There it is on the screen! The "magic point" you simply have to pinch for everything to fall into place using only the force of gravity! Mastery of the Second Law of Thermodynamics can be yours! All you have to do is watch a 22-second video!

Except... I can't do it. No matter how many times I watch this incredibly simple video, I can't make the shirt fall into the neat oblong shape the expert gets. And why are there two edits, at the six and thirteen second marks? Is this just another internet conspiracy? Or simply confirmation of the weary thesis of the Resistentialists; things really are against us.

Comments

[cap-scaleman.livejournal.com]

Is this the reason for your recent interest in aprons?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Eureka! I have it!

It involves putting your right hand on the "magic spot" and gripping the top part with your left. In other words, you cross your wrists (it feels wrong), flip down to the bottom hem, then pull the right hand through (that's the magic bit) and lay the shirt flat, flipping the arm bit behind.

[kaipfeiffer.livejournal.com]

according to popular myths, men are drilled at the army to fold everything around them perfectly: t-shirts, bed linen, tanks ...
private momus, i'm proud to hear you finally managed that most essential skill, too. me and my men are glad to learn you're not the twee little sissy we thought you were!

[scottbateman.livejournal.com]

I still can't get it--the collar of the shirt is folded into the botom of the hem of the shirt, so that the chest of the shirt doesn't come out on top.

[mcfnord.livejournal.com]

my girlfriend saw this and then folded all my shirts.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I've just gone through my whole collection of T-shirts folding them like this. It was amazingly therapeutic. I was cackling with manic glee as I tugged and shook, tugged and shook. I feel like a new man! It's never too late!

Revolting things

[qscrisp.livejournal.com]

It's no wonder that Things are against us; they must be tired of being treated like objects.

Re: Revolting things

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

Ha hah.

[ratz.livejournal.com]

You know, that folding technique was the big selling point of Martha Stewart's new show after she got out of prison. She did it on the first episode, then gave away tee shirts with those instructions printed on the back.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I can understand that. This origami has a strong dimension of moral redemption to it.

I learned it in school :(

[chrissmari.livejournal.com]

When I was in concert band, we had to fold our band shirts perfectly when we took them off. I was 10 years old.. and we had to keep folding until they were perfect :(

[constructionism.livejournal.com]

The shirt in the video is so thin. All my shirts are of a heavier cotton and look chunky and unfit for display. I give up. I'm more concerned about how to fold pants and sweaters.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Of course, if you fold a lot of t-shirts and need a machine to do it for you, here's (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qDoNgL82Pc) how to make one yourself out of cardboard. Dig the Analog Baroque music on this instructional video!

[cap-scaleman.livejournal.com]

The music is actually from a game! Super Mario World to SNES!

[jmathewes.livejournal.com]

Funny! I learned how to fold t-shirts by watching those videos, and impressed and amazed all my friends...

...until they found out I learned it from watching a video on the internet. Then I was just a nerd.

But damn, could I fold t-shirts.

[zelley.livejournal.com]

oh i LOVE that folding method, i use it at work and it makes me look more competent and less hungover.

Peeling a potato

[blueandalusia.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnNzI6dXlOI

Apparently this is the way to peel potatoes without effort. I am under the impression that it is from the same show. I can't imagine that it is remotely helpful to do this unless you are aching for a party trick.

But what a party trick it is.

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

Got it, first try.

Of course this reveals the ugly fact that I actually own a tee shirt (I won't admit to owning more than one, though).

[lord-whimsy.livejournal.com]

I can tell you a simple way to get those creases out of a freshly used tie overnight without having to use a harmful iron, but I doubt this is a tie crowd. Ditto for using different colors of shoe polish to get a deep custom tone to your shoes.

Step-by-step charts for various tie and pocket square folds can be downloaded here, (http://www.lordwhimsy.com/trifles/tutorials.html) in case anyone wants them.

(Sound of wind)

[elperrodepaulov.livejournal.com]

Haha, and if you ever master this you ought to try for the next level, how to properly fold a kimono. Ain´t that easy.

[jammypack.livejournal.com]

I've been trying it for the past couple weeks and so can't get it down either. I'm not sure I'm really a fan of that flapping sleeve in the back when you're all done anyway. Sure, it looks great from the aerial view, but it's not functional to transport to the closet, drawer or shirt stack. My old style, less fancy style is practical and neat enough. I don't think I'll be taking on this scientific method except as a parlour trick to impress (or not) friends and family. I did it for an old Japanese lady I work for but she just nodded, shook the shirt out and refolded it her way.

[tundraboy.livejournal.com]

Heh heh! Funny how this clip comes back around every couple years to become an internet phenomenon all over again.

[londontheory.livejournal.com]

i've watched this video mouth agape five times & can't even begin to imagine that i cd possibly fold a shirt like that! good god.

[(Anonymous)]

B Men

[(Anonymous)]

Hello Momus,
I am not sure if you recall making this post:

...By the way, has anyone got the URL for those gay porn fan fantasies reported recently in Q magazine's Gay Pop feature, involving Bobby Gillespie and Jim Reid? I wanna jack off to that shit, man. For real!
-- Momus (nic...), May 21st, 2001. (http://ilx.wh3rd.net/thread.php?msgid=1256425)

But I do. I have found a story that may interest you (http://www.primal-scream.net/fanfiction/bobby/justlikehoney.htm). It's not very good, in fact it's fairly terrible, but I do believe you will find it awesomebad enough to wank to.

Regards,
Bob Nasty

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Well worth the five year wait! Top crack whip 'n' whack stuff! Did you write it yourself, Bob?

[nicepimmelkarl.livejournal.com]

ein hoch auf das buegeln !!!

http://werkleitz.de/~pape/d/04projects/1984fliegerclips/fliegerclips1.html

[(Anonymous)]

"Sockage" means liquid manure.

[coathangerwings.livejournal.com]

somebody did it slower so you can at least see how it's done. :)

[(Anonymous)]

When I first saw that vid, I got kinda revved up, and learned how to do it instantly.

And ended up teaching the ladies at the laundromat down the road how to do it. Blew their minds. They thought I was doing some sort of magic trick. Until they tried it themselves.

I can't say I've noticed them actually USING the technique. I've got about 40 t-shirts.

Blue skies
love
Roy

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