Artiodactyl carpenter

[imomus]

Once upon a time I wrote a song called "Hippopotamomus" in which the narrator, a hippo who happens also to be a Momus, is also an artiodactyl; a member of the order of animals (pigs, dromedaries, mountain goats, gnus and so on) with two toes. Well, I must admit that when I uttered the gruff (and rather saucy) lyrics to that song I wasn't actually two-toed. But since visiting a shop called Marumi Working and Casual Wear here in Osaka, I've been walking around in two-toed socks and shoes. I have become artiodactyl.



Osaka may be the world's fourth most expensive city, but if you know where to shop (hint: Shinsekai, home of the 2000 yen flophouse) you can buy, for the equivalent of £30 sterling, the following outfit, not un-related to construction worker chic:

1 pair cloven toe carpenter's shoes
6 pairs cloven toe socks, cream and grey
1 pair wrist bands with traditional Japanese wave pattern

1 dark blue hooded sailor top

1 pair plastic elastic-top trousers with inner padding



Not only will this qualify you (to the untrained eye, anyway) as an artiodactyl (to the trained eye you'll resemble a Japanese carpenter, for whom the shoes are made), it'll allow you to pose on an equal footing, so to speak, with a Japanese Colonel Saunders and a Japanese Charlie Chaplin. Well, okay, Chappurin has bigger shoes.

(If you're in Osaka, a reminder that this Sunday I play my only Japanese concert this year in the city. Details here.)

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Momus, have you ever been surprised by the puritanical responses some people have had to your music, particulalry the Hippopotamus album, and how much do you think your devilishness has limited your success?

Donnie.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, I meant to say the "Hippopotamomus" album.

Donnie.

[(Anonymous)]

Also, where did you get that dapper cap?

D.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Have I ever been surprised at British puritanism? Yes and no.

I was brought up in Britain, and there are puritans in my extended family, members of the Plymouth Brethren. So I went the other way, like D.H. Lawrence did. (He preserved his puritanism even while condemning it, by the simple inversion of saying, in his hilarious essay on masturbation (http://www.gtexts.com/college/papers/f5.html), that puritans want us to masturbate, and that therefore masturbation is evil.) So I knew I'd have problems, but I persisted. "He only does it to annoy, because he knows it teases," as Lewis Carroll put it. That was part of it. And the reviews went from raves to stuff like "There is now little doubt that Momus is a perve, if not in deed then in thought." Did it damage my chances of success? I think so, but it also gave me a niche, and in the long run a niche is nicer. And it got me endlessly laid, which helped.

The hat, by the way, is from Marimekko (http://www.marimekko.co.uk/).

[cheapsurrealist.livejournal.com]

Japanese carpenters sure are snappy dressers. I just wear old worn out clothes to work. I call it wino chic. My boss says I scare the custumers.

Do those shoes come in steel toes?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

No.

[(Anonymous)]

Nice posts recently. Thankyou.

http://www.bramson.net/jika-tabi/product/product.htm

safety tabi. Half way down.

[akabe.livejournal.com]

And these guys (http://www.maisonmartinmargiela.com) made a living selling snow to the eskimos.

[bklyndispatch.livejournal.com]

tell us about the watch.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

All is revealed here (http://imomus.livejournal.com/87655.html) (comments section).

[(Anonymous)]

Wouldn't an artiodactyl carpenter be a man who made pigs out of wood?

Tabi's and texture

[stephendv.livejournal.com]

I used to wear tabi's clubbing out in London, the thin soles don't hide any of the texture of the ground, even slight bumps or rough surfaces are very noticeable. It adds an extra dimension to walking around urban areas when you are suddenly aware of the world beneath your feet.
They are also readily available in most martial arts shops.

[runstaverun.livejournal.com]

you have to be careful around that first statue (http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=749091)... or at least don't go throwing it anywhere.

[pirateman.livejournal.com]

Sorry, this is a totally superficial comment/question:

What kind of watch is that? And have you ever heard of tokyoflash.com? I'm a watch dood, so I was just curious....

[(Anonymous)]

That is a Bohla watch. I've only seen them for sale at a few shops in Tokyo (Shelter in Ebisu, Beams, ...). What I'd like to know is, how does Momus keep it so nice and white? My white one has become strangely discoloured.

Insecure Solipsist Strikes Back

[nomorepolitics.livejournal.com]

I know that the sole purpose of Click Opera is to make me envy you.

Here's my arrogant solipsistic self-assertion:

Re: Insecure Solipsist Strikes Back

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Pucci flipflops (http://www.zappos.com/n/p?dp=10188918) would match the Click Opera colours better.

Wrath of the Solipsist

[nomorepolitics.livejournal.com]

No plastic, leather, or wood design, can match the comfort of real tatami flipflops with dragonfly straps.

[cap-scaleman.livejournal.com]

This is what everyone should wear in 2008!

[iamcoreyd.livejournal.com]

fantastic style, Momus. Where can I get some of those heavy winter pants I've been seeing you wear?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

German secondhand chain Humana (http://www.berlin.city-map.de/city/db/070101010000/1/1198/Secondhandshops.html). Military section.

[outdoorminerbob.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted a pair of those, ever since I was little and wanted to be a ninja. I still want a pair and I still wish I were a ninja.

[sheppardzo-14.livejournal.com]

saw black tabi with rubber soles in Paris a couple weeks ago. wildly overpriced, of course.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they should cost less than €20.

[deadbatteries.livejournal.com]

The shoes and socks are amazing. I like this post a lot.

Japanese constuction worker chic ?

[(Anonymous)]

That looks fuck all like the clothes a Japanese construction worker would wear