Cuteness and category

[imomus]

Living with a rabbit entails recognizing a series of "cute moments". They're mostly the moments when the rabbit, with utter fierceness and un-selfconsciousness, does something entirely stereotypical, like lying down suddenly in a characteristic posture, its hind legs stretched out, its tail taut, its eyes fixed and vacant yet alert. The thing that makes it cute is the rabbitness of it, the combination of relaxation and anxiety. Our rabbit is both a male and a prey animal, so it mixes the eternally timid alertness of a threatened beast low on the food chain with the swagger and confidence of a male. The interplay of those two contrasting stereotypes is also a source of comedy and "cuteness".

I was thinking about this in the light of yesterday's Gender Killer discussion. How desireable is it to "kill gender"? How liberating is it to stop relating to stereotypes? Is it even possible? (After all, gays and lesbians seem to use the stereotypes of gender just as much as anyone else does.) And do we renounce cuteness when we do it?

I scribbled some notes:

identity is limitation
identity is cute
limitation is cute
my identity
your identity
i want to be unlimited, but i want you to be cute... and limited
i want to be rounded, but i want you to be stereotypical
the relationship of cuteness to the categorical
things are cute when they behave instinctively, un-selfconsciously... when they approach the stereotypical
how can complexity ever compete, in the attractiveness stakes, with the rush of affectionate recognition we get when we see something stereotypical?

Okay, let's look at some of those ideas. Identity is limitation. This is confirmed in the realm of technology by the synthesizer. The more synths can do, the less they sound like synths. The more capable a synth is, the less cute it is. The cutest synths are the monophonic Moogs and Prophets made in the 70s. They're cute because they have a limited, stereotypical identity. We hear them, or see them, and think "That's a synth!" We love them for their limitation. They have a strong identity precisely because, in terms of range and capability, they're rather weak.

This establishes a link, perhaps an unexpected one, between identity and cuteness. When I find something cute, I find it attractive because it seems limited, stereotypical, determined by its category, even helpless. When Japanese women shout "kawaii!" it's reflexive on two sides: the women are acknowledging their own femininity by responding to something small, vulnerable and baby-shaped, but also acknowledging something limited, stereotypical and reflexive in the thing admired. It's cute because it is so much what it is, and can't help it. It's "concentrated essence of chihuahua", strictly observing its obligation to be what it is while we strictly observe our obligation to admire it.

But mightn't we have double standards? Mightn't we want complexity and individuality for ourselves, but cute limitation for others? Nobody wants to feel limited, after all. For instance, I pride myself on being culturally somewhat hybrid, born in Scotland, but much more than the stereotypical Scot. I pride myself on blurring my nationality, blurring my gender, blurring my class and my culture. I believe that I can "rise above" the circumstances of my formation, become rounded and complex, and be loved for that complexity. But has anyone ever been loved for their complexity? Don't we see, day in and day out, that simplicity and clear uncalculating categorical identity is far more "cute"?

And isn't it hypocritical of me to want to be loved for my complexity, but also love others for their simplicity? Because I can't deny that my attraction is somewhat generic. I am attracted to "Japanese art students". I like them to be more rather than less "Japanese". Once they started to become Japanese-French or Japanese-British or Japanese-American, I would start to find them less attractive, I think. I don't say this is morally right of me, but I observe it in myself. The cute and the generic are all tied up. I also like very feminine women, and once women start to mix up gender signifiers, to be tough and boyish, I find them less cute... even though I have a tendency to mix up gender signifiers myself! (Or do I find femininity enhanced by attempts to escape it? Those boyish girls are cute, but it's the moments when the mask slips and the act falters that are the cutest.)

So I aspire to be complex, but I can't help being attracted to the uncomplex. And perhaps I fail to see that when people find me cute, it's because, no matter how I dress, I am still helplessly male, helplessly bourgeois, helplessly Scottish. "Skirts can actually look great on men," said an article linked in yesterday's comments, filed in the Gender Issues section of the Guardian. "Unfortunately, most blokes simply aren't man enough to carry them off."

Most men "aren't man enough" to dress like a woman! The paradox suggests that category is all-powerful; in trying to escape it, we merely confirm it. That fatalism sounds depressing, but it does have a consolation attached. If, in the end, complexity is limited, then complexity is also cute.

Comments

Re: cute..or non-threat? (men and cuteness)

[svenskasfinx.livejournal.com]

well if you take it in the context of men and women.. think about how easy it is for us as women to make the initial move towards a "cute" man as opposed to a tough man.. our own culture makes it very clear it's the "man" that makes the first move.. but here in Sweden I find it interesting how men don't often make the first move, but just like women, make a desision about if it goes farther than a conversation.

Lord Whimsy's links were cool....I'm still not convinced...

Take for example though the amount of freedom it must have for a man to blurr the lines between the genders, for the most part. I see it as liberating for women.. but both male and female are essencially very simply biological identity and nothing more, and SHOULD be nothing more.

I love being female, and a mum, but, being a mum isn't "cute" and for the majority of men, including the man who makes one become a mum (in most cases) the female has lost some of the allure culture loads the pre-mum female with...

As far as allure goes though, I think I personally have a "male ugly rock star" allure (but I'm female and not in the living in the 60s).. it probably takes much to get over that for the people I've been involved with (especially my husband)... I notice there are not many women who have that..but times are changing.

I guess its an appeal that's an aquired taste, and eventually (we can only hope) will continue in its direction.. more strong female role models and the freedom to move within different "versions" of sexual rolls within gender. I mean we often identify sexuality of a person just because of their skill at playing around with the blurring of the genders... many women who seem "butch" and men who seem "feminine" are NOT gay or bisexual.. they don't have to be.. but to the undeveloped.. for example, if a woman changes her own tire on the road side on a southern state...and refuses male help (for fear of the conciquences and because she's not helpless) there is an "oh you must be a lesbian" sort of coment here and there..

My sexuality and other people's sexualities are independant of my "gender blurring".. I'd love to see more men really show the guts (which I think it takes) to break out of those old assigned rolls and not fear that people will call them "queer".. (even if its true or not so what!) so I can see that conclusion about it taking a man who is more of a man to dare to wear a skirt.

Women after all still can wear jeans in most places these days..

Re: cute..or non-threat? (men and cuteness)

[(Anonymous)]

I'd love to see more men really show the guts (which I think it takes) to break out of those old assigned rolls and not fear that people will call them "queer".. (even if its true or not so what!) so I can see that conclusion about it taking a man who is more of a man to dare to wear a skirt.
I agree that it does take guts to break out of these stereotypes, particularly when, depending on the context, the threat of physical violence is often a distinct possibility, probably more so than for a woman doing the same thing. Again, I think that homosexuality is used to police masculinity to a greater degree than it polices femininity.
Men, who hold more material power, need to police the power that comes with their genderedness more strictly.

The very phrase 'it takes a man to do...' constructs a world in which a male is enjoined to be a 'real man' as an ideal. As far as removing gender roles goes, I'd prefer to see a world without definitions of being a 'real man' or 'real woman' than a world in which those definitions are 'better' than the ones we have today. A rock star, secure in his role as a powerful figure and living in a certain milieu, can do things that the average man can't.
Interesting to ask whether, for example, KISS's use of makeup (as opposed to Bowie's), or Iggy Pop's, deconstructs masculinity or reinforces that men, if they're strong enough, can take whatever they want; such an act then becomes proof of how masculine they are.

Re: cute..or non-threat? (men and cuteness)

[mo-no-chrome.livejournal.com]

The above being me... Is competent use of technology considered a stereotypical attribute of masculinity?

Is it?

[svenskasfinx.livejournal.com]

Is competent use of technology considered a stereotypical attribute of

I don't know why, but it seems to be... just by society's standards---I am a very very machine/computer/ tool user by nature... and yet time and time again I find very very few women who have little or no interest of various ages to even LEARN new technology.. not because they are not capable.. but mearly "ah well... you know.. I'm a woman, what use do I have of learning such things?"

I really hate that! Note my best friend is so really totally girly girl, and SHE and I know how to build things.. and do DIY.. the only difference is she's hyper about not getting anything "dirty"..LOL

But she can do wrought iron... I commend her for actually understanding a concept I think I illustrate constantly... "why buy it if you can make it better yourself?" (I can make it myself at home with a small aubergene ;))