People who go on and on about themselves in "meatspace" tend to get pegged as bores, don't they?
Well, I think that depends how they do it. You can be interested in yourself because you're interested in people, and in starting a conversation. A strong, healthy ego can engage us with others, whereas a shy, self-doubting, self-censoring ego is often the product of a certain misanthropy: "I'm not interesting" can often shade into "I'm not interested", just as "I don't like myself" can often shade into "I don't like other people".
I tend to get on rather well with "other" narcissists. I mean, I move in the world of artists, so of course I meet a lot of people who are, secretly or not-so-secretly, self-obsessed. Quite often, I'll play the supportive role in these relationships, the "wife". I'll ask more questions than I'll be asked in return. I think I'm rather indulgent with the self-indulgent, perhaps because I understand them and see their narcissism as a variety of humanism. The people I find really hard to deal with are gloomy self-haters and self-deprecators. I want to say to them: "At least try to believe you're attractive! If you can believe it, it'll start to come true!"
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Date: 2009-11-13 11:15 am (UTC)Well, I think that depends how they do it. You can be interested in yourself because you're interested in people, and in starting a conversation. A strong, healthy ego can engage us with others, whereas a shy, self-doubting, self-censoring ego is often the product of a certain misanthropy: "I'm not interesting" can often shade into "I'm not interested", just as "I don't like myself" can often shade into "I don't like other people".
I tend to get on rather well with "other" narcissists. I mean, I move in the world of artists, so of course I meet a lot of people who are, secretly or not-so-secretly, self-obsessed. Quite often, I'll play the supportive role in these relationships, the "wife". I'll ask more questions than I'll be asked in return. I think I'm rather indulgent with the self-indulgent, perhaps because I understand them and see their narcissism as a variety of humanism. The people I find really hard to deal with are gloomy self-haters and self-deprecators. I want to say to them: "At least try to believe you're attractive! If you can believe it, it'll start to come true!"