Pyramid pow-wow

[imomus]

Last night's gala event for the Great Pyramid -- a huge "loft dying" necropolis planned for the lush countryside near Dessau -- was pretty interesting. The film presentations and talks actually made me think the pyramid (which could, if it's a success, become the world's largest building, housing the mortal remains of up to five million people) would be a good place for me to be buried, when my time comes.



Ever since I first heard of this pyramid project, I've had my doubts about whether it could possibly be true. Would the world's biggest pyramid -- and possibly its biggest human structure -- rise in the German countryside? Would you really be able to rent a necro-unit in it for all eternity for a total payment of €1000? Was Rem Koolhaas really selecting the architects who'd build the visitor centre around the structure? Were my favourite Japanese architects, Atelier Bow Wow, one of the four contending teams, and was I really going to sing my song "What Will Death Be Like?" at the ceremony which presented their plans?



My doubts were based on the fact that the people surrounding the project are a highly playful group of conceptual jokers, neo-visionaries, intellectual provocateurs and ironic pranksters with ties to REDESIGNDEUTSCHLAND. Basically, writer Ingo Niermann (who writes "popliteratur" in collaboration with Christian Kracht) founded this satirical design thinktank with Rafael Horzon with the idea of thinking about Germany (and the world) in a kind of "Year Zero" way, inspired by the visionary systematizing of the French Revolution, the Bauhaus with its Modernist existenzminimum, even North Korea. Basically, visionary systematic thinking has been taboo in postwar Germany because of the reductive essentialising which links everything of this kind to Nazi dystopias.



And yet Germany is now at the heart of a Europe which needs radical imaginative visions. Basically, connecting everything of this sort to Hitler is a kind of Godwin's Law of the mind, a sort of lazy reflexive caution which would end every speculative conversation and prevent anything interesting ever happening again (Hitler's final revenge: 1000 years of boredom and timidity?) To break out of this postwar paralysis, Ingo Niermann wrote a book called "Umbauland" (Reconstruction Land, Suhrkamp) which laid out ten provocative visions for Germany. He said Germany should have its own nuclear bomb. He advocated (as REDESIGNDEUTSCHLAND also do) the radical simplification of the grammar of the German language (REDEDEUTSCH) so that it can spread easily through the world and stop the totalitarian dominance of English (because, let's face it, we Anglos are the closest thing to totalitarians today). He also welcomes German population decline on energy-saving grounds. And now, as a member of the Friends of the Pyramid, he's advocating another radical vision -- a redesign of the way we deal with death.

Rem Koolhaas really was there last night, attracted by his admiration of Niermann's book. Koolhaas likes bold ideas about the future. His presentation at the HAU1 theatre guided us through conceptual presentations for the pyramid visitor centre by Atelier Bow-Wow (Tokyo), Nikolaus Hirsch, Markus Miessen & Wolfgang Lorch (Frankfurt / M & London), MADA s.p.a.m. (Shanghai & Los Angeles), and Ai Weiwei / FAKE Design (Beijing). Or, as Koolhaas (taller in real life than you'd imagine, and wearing a tough guy leather coat) put it, poetry, pragmatism, mysticism and communism.



The images on this page are all from Atelier Bow Wow's presentation, themed around the natural forms of leaves and tree branches. At the end of the session Koolhaas announced -- slightly disappointingly -- that the jury (which included Miuccia Prada) had decided to use ideas from all four practices. They were all "the winner", or would be if and when the project (which he said might be real or might be ironic provocation -- "delirious Germany", if you like) was green-lighted. The other presentations -- by structural engineers, marketing people, the head of the Bauhaus -- made it clear that the scheme could be a commercial reality, and that it's gone far enough for local residents to have mounted a protest group, seen holding up banners saying "We don't want 5 million dead in our back yard!"

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At the end of it all I sang my song What Will Death Be Like?, not so much a manifesto about a future we all face as a statement about the unspeakability of death. But if we can't say what death might be like, at least we can say where we might spend it. And picture people coming to visit us there, milling around a soothing visitor centre based on the shapes of leaves.

Comments

[kumakouji.livejournal.com]

"...if and when the project (which he said might be real or might be ironic provocation..."

"SURPRISE! It was all an ironic provocation."

Then everyone in the room ejaculates in unison, whilst patting each other on the back.

[(Anonymous)]

A good old fashioned grave, with a tombstone and the odd plastic flower fluttering in the wind will do me just fine.

If you're buried in the pyramid then you'll fail to experience the finer points of death, such as worms and moss. The former plays with your corpse, and the latter covers your name.

wewillbecome.com

[imomus.livejournal.com]

The really startling thing is that the pyramid is an outrageous provocation that also works on all sorts of practical and commercial levels. There really seems to be political support for it too. So scoff now, but a necropolis tourist attraction that anyone from anywhere in the world can be laid to rest in for half the price it costs to be buried in some scruffy, antequated churchyard is something that has every reason to work. I believe it will be built.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Oh, worms are a plus now, are they? You should work in real estate: "You can't get dry rot like this in modern houses, you know! Of course, you have to pay a bit more for this kind of character..."

[kumakouji.livejournal.com]

Recently here in London, there were headlines regarding certain councils proposing plans to dig up century old graves in order to make room for new graves; we're running out of space to bury the dead it seems. As macabre as that sounds, it's a serious urban planning issue, and it's nothing to be scoffed at. "Alternative graves" are very much an issue of the times.

which is why you can't help but laugh at the idea of this entire project being one big, ironic wank-fest.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I don't think you've understood German irony. It's dead serious.

[kumakouji.livejournal.com]

A "good old fashioned grave" would be fine if it wasn't the fact we breed like rats; we're running out of room to bury all the carcases. The problem is we hold too much reverence for the rotting flesh of humans.

Cremation is also environmentally unfriendly -- the major emissions from crematories are: nitrogen oxides, carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide, particulate matter, mercury, hydrogen fluoride (HF), hydrogen chloride (HCl), NMVOCs, and other heavy metals, in addition to Persistent Organic Pollutants (POP). (wiki)

We need a way of getting rid of bodies. I'd quite like my dead body to be fed to some animals... Exotic ones that are due to be extinct preferably.

gone solid gone

[(Anonymous)]

i rather fancy this myself, we humans have got death all wrong(western christians anyway) everything about it is uncomfortable, expensive and sinister..
.its got to change because the fact is theres no space ..i like frolicking around in old cematrys and seminarys as much as the next man but hey...My da is on his way and besides the obvious the theatre around the whole thing fills me with dread ...i was wonder about this pyrimad , what would the theatre of death be like here could you write your own script? would it be open to all peoples , why the 1000 euro cost ..could it not be free for poor folks who die with nothing and no one..friend of mine recintly put their parents(pay rents.....funnny that) to rest in the small back garden of there family home which avoided all the pompus crap surrounding your average burial and in the end was quite sweet ...this idea sounds great ....when and where do i sign up.

Re: gone solid gone

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Japan's obviously ahead on this question of limited space for burial. There have been calls recently for the foreigner section of the Aoyama Graveyard to be dug up, because Japanese families pay perpetual "rent" for the gravespace of their ancestors, but these gaijin families can't be traced, and probably wouldn't pay up even if they could. Meanwhile, they're slumbering selfishly on some of Tokyo's most expensive real estate.

In the area around Berlin it's quite the opposite problem. This is some of Europe's cheapest land, and likely to remain so thanks to declining populations, unemployment and de-industrialisation -- the Shrinking Cities (http://imomus.livejournal.com/57298.html) phenomemon I've written about before (and Koolhaas talked about in his presentation last night).

So -- despite the current resistance of some locals to the idea -- this pyramid really kills a lot of birds with one stone. As a tourist attraction it revitalizes a moribund area. It deals with Germany's declining population by turning it into a mini-economic boom (the attraction will bring jobs and visitors and trade to the area). It's a brilliant kind of hedging.

[rob-kun.livejournal.com]

I know this is old news, but your post reminds me of Bill Drummond's www.mydeath.net

[anashi.livejournal.com]

I must have read and ingested way too much Egyptian mythology as I child because the idea of burning a body never has sat well with me. There's something about cemeteries and reverence for our dead that I hold sacred. I think there needs to be a choice. I like this idea of a pyramid structure that utilizes space very well and is also good for the economy of the people around it.

[electricwitch.livejournal.com]

Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler

Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler

NOW WHAT I'VE SAID IS DEEP.

Re: gone solid gone

[akabe.livejournal.com]

the aoyama cemetary is cool because the tunnel runs right under the graves so from that perspective the remains of the dead are not burried under but hanging above.

in tibet they got it best giving the corpses straight to the vultures as nourishment , even pounding the hard to eat bones and teeth and stuff to powder then mixing that with cereal so nothing'd be left.

deep shit

[(Anonymous)]

tony blairs worst then bad old adolf

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

(because, let's face it, we Anglos are the closest thing to totalitarians today)

Oh? I shall inform Yemen and North Korea immediately.

The ubiquitousness of the English language owes not only to American and English empire, but also to the inherent utility they have created. Totalitarianism is the wrong word. An Indian businessman and a Chinese party mandarin who negotiate in English are using a tool.

Tod Pyramide!?

[psalamone.livejournal.com]

Giant pyramids, visionary architecture, leaf-shaped visitors centers -- has iMomus become BLDGBLOG? So many thoughts and impressions, where to start?

-The airlines will make a killing offering one-way "death class" tickets to all deceased persons traveling to their final destination in Germany. This will require the expansion of the Frankfurt airport and surrounding environs, making it the largest aerotropolis in the world.

-If the "dying Europe" these of Bruce Thornten, VD Hanson and the like is correct, this pyramid will be attended to and patronized by the inhabitants of the global south, surveying the remains of the deceased global north. Turks, Mexicans, Chinese, Africans... they will inherit the lost lands of the 20th century Pharoahs -- it's up to them how the we old mummies are exhumed.

-Unrelatedly, "Rededeutsch" -- fucking brilliant. If this can be instituted BEFORE I have to take my German language exams, even better. I still don't know when to use "dem", "den" "einer" "einem" etc. Perhaps the signage at the pyramid will all be in Rededeutsch. That, and Mandar-Swahilispanish.

-Future scenario: the Southern populations evolve, leave Earth, conquer space, and forget the Europeans -- and their DeathPyramid -- ever existed. Millenia later, a research expedition rediscovers the green planet, raids the crypt, and revives/clones the old EU crew. Depending on taste in sci-fi, untold hilarities/horrors unfold.

[vonbruckhousen.livejournal.com]

About me; what I've made known to family and friends, I here now set in writing: my desire upon death to be placed/tossed into the nearest tree crotch strong enough to hold my weight, unclothed if tolerable.

What Will Death Be Like?

[gillen.livejournal.com]

Still my hands-down favourite of your songs, and not just because the first time I heard it I had been dragged to a certain person's dorm room to sit on her bed under the glow of the blue christmas lights taped to her ceiling to have her play it for me three times through in a row on her little red plastic boombox.

Re: Tod Pyramide!?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I think they'd have to extend Schoenefeld rather than Frankfurt airport -- this stuff is happening just south of Berlin. Actually, they are expanding Schoenefeld into Brandenburg International, so maybe it could become Charon International or something instead. (Incidentally, some think this pyramid could be the world's largest occult site. I'm personally not into that stuff.)

"Rededeutsch" -- fucking brilliant. If this can be instituted BEFORE I have to take my German language exams, even better.

I'm totally with you on that. We immigrants should be out there on the street with placards, demanding REDEDEUTSCH NOW!

[imomus.livejournal.com]

But seriously, seriously, what threat do Yemen and North Korea pose to the world? They're tiny, we're huge. Anything we do -- even mild and bland and inoffensive things -- becomes a threat because we're so successful, and because our way of living is seen, in our monocultural globe, as the correct one, the one to aspire to. We are the monoculture, therefore totalitarian.

The only thing that can stop us now is China. And total eco-exhaustion. And our demographic decline. And those three things happen to be the main plot elements of the 21st century.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Well, Bill was supposed to be flying in for the show last night, but had to cancel. Some other death-related event clashed.

[cargoweasel.livejournal.com]

He said Germany should have its own nuclear bomb...the radical simplification of the grammar of the German language ... He also welcomes German population decline

So, Newspeak? Does everyone get matching grey coveralls and shaved heads?

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

My point was more that the cavalier and emotivistic use of the word carries essentially zero meaning there, pretty and artistic language as it otherwise is.

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

I'm somehow reminded of those fine, upstanding intellectuals who recently petitioned to build a bona fide statue of Lenin... in the middle of Helsinki.

No one is still quite sure what they were actually getting at.

[kumakouji.livejournal.com]

Nobody's forcing the rest of the world to learn English as a second language; it just makes practical sense. The British Empire was the largest in all human history and the Americans know how to market their their pop culture better than anyone else. That's how things have panned out -- We have a de facto universal language for the world and thats a fantastic thing for world relations.

Maybe the reason Europe is so successful is because in certain respects we're getting things right. I dont exactly see you rushing to emigrate to Cuba or China.
China dropped communism, it's just too proud to say "Actually, this communism thing... its just not working out", not to mention the powers that be want to keep their undemocratic power and this is how they do it.
I read that article you linked me to about Japanese Capitalism. To sum it up in a nutshell -- instead of the financially savvy at the very top of the economic chain being able to manipulate money to make obscene amounts of money (hundreds of millions), the Japanese government employ people to take that job and they're payed a fixed wage for it. We should be doing this here, thats an example of an eastern economic model I think is superior to the economic model here. but again, Im not an economist and there might be a reason why the Japanese model wouldnt work, etc.

Also, It's not a race, there is no "omg Chinas growing and its gonna stop us". China becoming richer could potentially be a good thing for everyone (http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200509/02/eng20050902_206065.html). ultimately, When a culture is forced upon another culture against its collective will -- its a threat. the way Bush and Blair went into Iraq and started that war when there were no WMDs, that was disgusting. I was completely against Iraq war, you can call that a threat. When a foreign culture is freely adopted eg. The Japanese lapping up western culture -- it's a choice. Its completely their choice. Stop using the word "threat" in such a general sense to describe every aspect of the spread of western culture just because the spread of western culture doesnt fit your personal preferences.