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1. The learned Lucretius wrote De Rerum Natura; a treatise on the nature of things. I wish to write, today, De Venustas Emmy Quantum; a treatise on the hotness of Emmy the Great. There was a picture of, and a passing textual reference to Emmy on Monday, but all we said there was that she doesn't have a beard (insert Chaucerian ribaldry here), and I think she deserves something slightly deeper.



2. Since a lovely woman is like a tree in the full splendour of pre-aestival blossom, this might become a regular series. We've already had a De Venustas Lovefoxxx ("concerning the hotness of Lovefoxxx, Inca-Lycra queen of the 00s"). Like Lovefoxxx, Emmy the Great (née Emma-Lee Moss) is partly Asian; she was brought up in Hong Kong, but lives in London, where, apart from singing folk songs, she's a rollerskate waitress at Viva Cake, a "rock 'n' roll tea dance" held once a month at the St Aloysius Social Club, near Euston.



3. I don't plan to talk about Emmy's music here at all; that's not the point of the De Venustas series; here we are concerned only with venustasity and its manifold mysteries. For those who complain that this is "objectification", check out Emmy's blog of "stuff I've written for other people... you'll notice I talk about Graham Coxon a little more than is appropriate. I don't know why."

4. Ah, Graham Coxon. "I see Graham Coxon in Camden so often that I dream about him sometimes," Emmy confided to Sweeping the Nation. "I'm worried one day I'll walk up to him and start talking." May I make this observation, and be done with it; all the girls I've loved have had a thing for Graham. I asked Hisae why this morning, and she said "He's just so perfect. Nerdy, but in a good way." Considering what an ugly man I am I haven't done badly at all, but if I were Coxon I could have shaken the beautiful blossom tree and been showered with petals.

5. When, on Monday, our room was filled up with Emmy's warbling as I watched video after video of her on YouTube, Hisae asked "Why are you listening to that terrible music?" I explained that it was because of the hotness of Emmy the Great. Hisae watched for a while, but couldn't see it. Attempting to explain, I said something about bare legs and early Joan Baez, but found that the only explanation that worked was "She looks a bit like you!" (It's true, and I'm a lucky man.)



6. Hotness buttons: girls in floral dresses, girls with legs and feet tucked neatly under them, sitting on their beds, literate and literary girls, girls lying in their bedrooms with pencils and pens and other stationery, sketching and doodling and drawing, nice middle class girls thinking of going to Goldsmiths College to study English Literature or Fine Art, girls blowing on folk instruments and inflating balloons and thinking of putting them down their dresses, wholesome ingenue girls reading books and sipping milk. How could they put all these signifiers in one video? They did:

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7. Sipping milk "as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth" is an ingenue staple; a previous Click Opera De Venustas, Kumi Okamoto of Konki Duet, sips milk in a short film she made for her film class. Milk is an unashamedly mammalian, mammary, mama-like drink, a drink symbolising the wholesomeness of femininity.

8. In every-man-for-himself vigilante-style Western culture, milk is obviously a drink for girls, and even girls should be men and drink harder stuff in their videos. Shameless milk-drinking is more likely to feature in Asian videos, and to me Emmy's provocatively feminine style (she looks great in Eley Kishimoto!) relates to that Asian context.

9. Emmy's room looks like a Hong Kong room. Something about its comfortable, cute, floral kitsch style reminds me of the Notes by Naive blog, or HK friends Sunshine and Lik, or the style of singer Dejay Choi from HK band Pancakes, or the early films of girlcentric HK director Wong Kar Wai, or generic romantic HK comedies where being cute, twee, floral and feminine isn't a class signifier or a sign of weakness, but something winning, and where the conservative vanity of girls who can play this card to win is winning too. Oh, and I've just remembered that Milk is the name of the main Hong Kong style magazine!



10. In Hong Kong there's a strength and even a sort of Hello Kitty stridency to the milk aesthetic, a sort of pinky glare of girliness under harsh fluorescent lights. In Japan things are a bit different; you wouldn't be quite so arrogant and in-your-face sexy with your winsome tweeness. For instance, Hisae found Emmy's name immodest: to call yourself "the Great" just wouldn't do in Japan's more collectivist culture. (We have a friend in Berlin -- let's call him Ben -- who DJs under a name we'll call "Bentastic", and Hisae is always laughing at how dasai this is.) But anyway, the Japanese can be more aggressive and more eccentric -- think of OOIOO, and the primal womanliness of the bands I've clustered under the rubrik of Matsuri-kei. If China is a down-to-earth, family-oriented culture -- hence the power of milk -- Japan has more matriarchal roots, and more female deities (including, of course, the sun goddess).

11. However, it would be a mistake to see Emmy as too wholesome. Although this interview starts with her telling us how she and a bunch of friends "decided we'd like to put aprons on and bake cakes", it continues with "I like to talk about pee and poo... I won't talk to people unless they talk about poo and pee, that's it". On her Flickr page Emmy snaps a porn free news kiosk and titles it "free porn", or entertains us with Hong Kong shop signs saying "Willy Convenient Supermarket", "Gaylord" and "Bogey". And in her Black Cab Session she does the song that talks about "when love was just a feeling that ran out between my legs onto the back of my dress, onto the clothes that I was wearing".

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12. And then there's "City Song", with its line about "they pulled a human from my waist, it had your mouth, it had your face, I would have kept it if I'd stayed". Ah, I said I wasn't going to talk about the songs, but I am. Emmy would have been sensational -- just the way nature made her -- even if all she did was bake cakes. But the songs are where she really earns the epithet "Great".
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what do you on your trampoline?

Date: 2008-02-27 10:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] electricwitch.livejournal.com
Obviously you need to stop using the Britpop RPG as your dating agency.

gabriel in the streets of london

Date: 2008-02-27 10:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rinusvanalebeek.livejournal.com


I always have this habit of historicising listening. It took me months to find out that the Kate Nash song was an uptempo and girly version of say hello wave goodbye by soft cell.

I can understand you end up with joan baez...
by the way, tea!
I saw some great tea stores here in Vienna yesterday,
you must be able to buy your stash there,

greetings from the strangely silent capital of austria,

rinus

girls girls swirls

Date: 2008-02-27 11:42 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
she does seem real sweet..
i have been alone for so long , its like feast or famine.
those greek girls really messed me up..
are asian girls the best ? is it ok to compare..?
swedish girls seemed so open and fun.
french ones kinda hot and tricky.
my favourite so far was irish with italian

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eustaceplimsoll.livejournal.com
Thanks a bunch! I was quite content with being dismissive of Emmy the Great... that rendition of 'City Song' is lovely. Even raised a few goose bumps despite myself.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 11:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eustaceplimsoll.livejournal.com
I ought to qualify that with the observation that her American inflections are a bit annoying.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
I have problems with the genre she's chosen -- I'm much more excited by the style of OOIOO (http://youtube.com/watch?v=BJ1FLn7T448), for instance -- and I think some of her songs go on too long and are a little cloying. But once you get past those sorts of reservations, yes, she writes some good lyrics and can raise the old neckhairs (as well as other things).

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cerulicante.livejournal.com
Emma is a pretty asian girl. If all she did was record old people drinking mexican water and shitting themselves stupid, you'd praise it as the pinnacle of Human musical evolution.


Your judgement is suspect anytime sideways vagina is involved.

graham c. um'ing and ah'ing

Date: 2008-02-27 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cancercluster.livejournal.com
http://www.vbs.tv/player.php?bctid=1399286289&bccl=Mjg0OTUyNzA0X19FVEM

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
Ah, you would like an objective assessment of sexual attractiveness. Good luck finding that, Cerulicante!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milgram.livejournal.com

It's nice that you can be so open about liking submissive caricatures, and the dire musical exploits that make them appear even more helpless and unthreatening… i mean, wow, that's really something unique in contemporary culture and totally nothing to do with a oppressive patriarchal/racist stereotypes.

ps, Since when was wong kar wai's work "girl centric"? what absolute tosh.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
Is Emmy a "submissive caricature" because she likes to bake and drinks milk? Never underestimate bake power, nor milk power!

Who's being more misogynistic here, me hyping her or you slandering her?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 03:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
And we may count the number of post-feminist pendulum swings differently, but from where I'm standing -- and quite possibly from where Emmy's standing too -- there's something of a guilty -- no, a defiantly guiltless -- pleasure, at this point, about such an unashamed celebration of femininity.

Really, who would require her to shut up about her aprons and her baking? Who would require her to be "feisty" when she can be yeasty?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kumakouji.livejournal.com
So, you have no qualms with accusing fashion editors of racism and "promoting genetically perfect examples of the master race" when they use white models, but you conveniently glaze over the fact that 99% of female celebrities and models in mainstream culture are archetypical feminine stereotypes because they happen to give you a boner?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milgram.livejournal.com
i wasn't expressing any opinion about emmy or her music... i just got the impression from your post that that's what you were saying.

i'm not criticizing anyone for basing the promotion of their musical career around a popular stereotype, i'm bitching at you for trying to justify the way you're licking it up with all that "maternal culture" nonsense.

Call it defiantly post fem if you like (after all she does talk about "poo and piss" - not at all girlchild-ish), but for the female HK-ers i know, who are still confronted with this kind of stereotype at every PhD interview, i'm not sure it's effectively confronting any "ism".

Re: girls girls swirls

Date: 2008-02-27 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milgram.livejournal.com
so the spunk animation comment was deleted, but this bullshit remains?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
You called Emmy a "submissive caricature" and now you're complaining about HK women having to deal with "this kind of stereotype". But we're not dealing with a stereotype, we're dealing with an actual person. So I'd like to know exactly who or what Emmy is submitting to?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:33 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
Here, for instance, are six pictures of women taken from the new edition of Art Review:

Image

Which of these are "submissive caricatures"? What are they submitting to? And in the other images, why aren't the women submitting, or caricatures?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was taking ages to load and I think Emmy might well find it offensive if / when she looks at this thread, so I screened it.

[Summary: animated gif of tons of spooge arriving on Emmy's face, courtesy Kumakouji, removed cos I don't want to watch that on an endless loop all day.]

Re: girls girls swirls

Date: 2008-02-27 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kumakouji.livejournal.com
I was going to say it was probably deleted because it wasnt work safe, but hes just posted a photo of a topless girl below so I'm guessing it's just plain censorship.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
I think you're getting race and gender a bit mixed up here, Kuma. You're also suggesting Emmy is "mainstream" and super-styled by the arch-brain of the spectacular, manipulative media machine, which is a bit of a joke, since she's about as indie as can be and is obviously her own stylist.

bah...

Date: 2008-02-27 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'd bang er.


Alex P.

SEX-BOT 4000

Date: 2008-02-27 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SHE IS NOT SO HOT. WHERE IS HER 32-PIN I/O PORT WITH REPLICATOR FUNCTION AND SOUNDCARD HIGH FREQUENCY EMITTER LINK?

Re: girls girls swirls

Date: 2008-02-27 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imomus.livejournal.com
Nice to see how you both hate Emmy but LOVE FREEDOM!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-02-27 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milgram.livejournal.com
i did not mean to suggest that emmy embodies a caricature, just that i found the way you've basically said "i like this woman because (i think) she's whimsical and childish" kind of puke-inducing... oh, and that the whimsical and childish stereotype is still a big problem for a lot of women...

anyway, having said that, sorry, i have a thesis to finish right now, perhaps we can continue the discussion of after deadline :)
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