The Children's Pioneer

Today's song, Belvedere, might have come from the Barbapapa picture I used to illustrate Your Fat Friend. I wanted to make a children's song, but one from a parallel world where things work a little differently. I suppose I could say that I want to reveal the normative values built into all songs adults write for children. Or I could just say that this song reminds me of my brief and unhappy stint as a cub scout, or the little fascist I became when, influenced no doubt by all sorts of 'police television', I formed a gang called the 'Law Enforcement Helpers' and ran around Edinburgh parks trying to stop people breaking bylaws. I could also say that if The 2005 Album From Momus wants to be David Bowie's Lodger, this song wants to be its 'Boys Keep Swinging'. Or perhaps it's enough to point out that, here in Berlin, irony has always been a defense against people who wear armbands.

Hey you, have you paid your download dollar? Guards, take him to the Great Mountain of Death!

Belvedere

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Belvedere

Children of the New Republic all revere
Belvedere the children's pioneer
Everything that children do Belvedere does too
And everything he does, he does because he loves you
Children of the New Republic all revere
Belvedere the children's pioneer

What fun it is to do the things he shows you how to do!
Report the conversations of your parents to the Guard
Sleep naked with a member of the Inner High Elite
Touch other children's genitals for pleasure
For Belvedere and children it's 'Never say never'!

O Belvedere, Belvedere, Belvedere
With his helpers Stevedore, Tigris and Fingal
Just to hear their names -- you tingle!
Belvedere the children's pioneer

Children of the New Republic all revere
Belvedere the children's pioneer
He looks just like a child, but he's really something more
He's what you'd be if you were more perfect than you are
Children of the New Republic all revere
Belvedere the children's pioneer

What fun it is to do the things in this week's episode!
To take your parents, struggling, to the Great Mountain of Death
To sing the party anthem as you throw them off the edge
To speak the children's language and to shoot the children's gun
Round up the children's traitors, to kill them one by one!

O Belvedere, Belvedere, Belvedere
When your friend is by your side nothing can harm you
If danger creeps up while you sleep he sounds the alarm!

Belvedere, Belvedere, Belvedere
With his helpers Stevedore, Tigris and Fingal
Just to hear their names -- ah!

Children of the New Republic all revere
Belvedere the children's pioneer