Idiot King

[imomus]

Today I've been trying to write a song based on characters by Ken Shimura, the Japanese comedian. His most famous creations are Bakatono, a stupid feudal lord or Idiot King who hangs out in his castle romping with naked women, and Henna Ojisan, a dirty old man who shows no shame when women call the police on him. Instead of breaking down, confessing or apologising, Henna Ojisan responds with a catchy kabuki-style song and dance number advertising himself: how old he is, how disgusting and how cunning.



These characters' sex mania is a good excuse for Shimura to invite nubile young girls onto his show, like Mini-Moni, the only-just-pubescent spin-off from Morning Musume. (They're known as Mo-mus in Japan, by the way. I'm Mo-mas. When I posed in 2002 for a Japanese comedy magazine wearing a pink Mo-mus T shirt, comedian Romanporsche forced me to make the classic Morning Musume gesture, which I can only describe as being the bodily expression of the idea 'I am really cute and about to launch a boomerang in your general direction'. I was haggard and jet-lagged and looked even sillier as an honorary Mo-mus than Shimura does in the pink photo above.)

So I've been trying to write my idea of what Henna Ojisan sings in his song. (I've actually never seen Shimura's TV show. I'm piecing together my own versions from descriptions my Japanese flatmate Ayako is giving me and from research on the web.) It's a song about being an old man, a song about lust and its idiocy, and it may involve elixirs and a character of my own invention called the Corkscrew King.

I've been meaning to write a song about an old man for a while. In the back of my mind is Yeats' poem Sailing to Byzantium:

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress

Obviously, being increasingly old and disgraceful myself, I'm attracted to the subject. But physical impairment is getting in the way. Unlike Yeats' old men, I can't 'sing, and louder sing'. A week in headphones, playing my mixes over and over, has left my ears so battered and raw that any exposure to loud music brings me out in a fever and makes me feel dizzy and sick. It's a kind of Ludovico's Treatment. Like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, I can't listen to Beethoven -- or any music -- without feeling ill. I'm going to have to take a few days off to let my ears recover. The 'Henna Ojisan' song will have to wait. I'm not as young as I was last week, you know.

Comments

[augstone.livejournal.com]

do you really mix that loudly?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I get excited and the volume creeps up. But it's a cumulative thing. My ears are messed up, man.

[martymartini.livejournal.com]

In my case, I feel younger than ever after reading your article!
I should do a song about being a fictious member of Morning Musume (maybe I should shave?) and the tragedy of being young and ephemeral in a world filled with Bakatonos and Henna Ojisans.

[piratehead.livejournal.com]

I'm suddenly imagining Ken Shimura putting on a farcical Noh drama about Yeats' Steinach operation (http://www.bc.edu/publications/bcm/winter_2001/ll_yeats.html) to restore his "virility," and subsequent affair with a young actress.

[kiplet.livejournal.com]

Which is making me think of the Sextillion Names of Viagara (http://cockeyed.com/lessons/viagra/viagra.html).

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

You can't possibly be old; you're the same age as I am. My immaturity keeps me young and fresh forever!

Henna Ojisan sounds a little like Benny Hill, but I'm sure with more *style*.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

I learned a new piece of Japanese slang today from AnimeLab (http://www.animelab.com/anime.manga/dictionary?word=viagra&type=english&search=Normal):

bai jii

It's short for 'Viagra Ojisan' -- an old man who takes Viagra.

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

That would be an excellent little piece of kyogen. I like it.

And, by the way, Yeats *was* a big Noh fan.

[piratehead.livejournal.com]

I had Noh idea. And what's a kyogen?

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm glad I spoke about this before finishing the song, I feel we're brainstorming something much better here.

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

Kyogen are the traditional comic interludes during a long day of Noh drama. During a whole day you'd see, I forget, four or five Noh plays, the subject matter of which are things like unrequited love ["Matsukaze"], demonic possession (frequently as a result of unrequited love) ["Dojoji"], wandering sorrowful folks losing their last hope (again, unrequited love)["Sumidagawa"]...you get the idea. All very pious and Buddhist in an attachment-brings-sorrow kind of way.

Anyway, at several points during a day of Noh they'd perk the audience up with little comedic plays called kyogen. Kyogen are fun little vaudeville bits about cuckolded husbands, tricky servants outwitting their masters, silly things that everyone likes to see. I once saw a kyogen version of Shakespeare's "Merry Wives of Windsor", too, and it worked wonderfully.

My favorite kyogen of all time, however, is called "Kakushidanuki" ("Hiding the Badger"), in which we see a tricky servant who is very good at catching badgers try to sneak one past his master so he can take it to market himself and keep the profits. Master catches him, suspects mischief, and proceeds to invite his servant out for drinks (unheard of!), get him drunk (!), and con him into doing a little dance together (!). The whole time, the wily servant is attempting to hide this dead badger (the stage prop looks like a dirty stuffed sock) behind his back, up his sleeve, under the table, wherever. The dance is the climax and is wonderful to behold. If you don't believe me, you just go ahead and try dancing with a partner while hiding a dead badger behind your back. I dare you, tee hee!

[joopy.livejournal.com]

I vaguely remember these characters (and Henna Ojisan's song) from when I was still in elementary school. I had no idea it was still on, and with the same characters too!

[piratehead.livejournal.com]

'Hide the badger' sounds brilliant. I have a feeling these fellows (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/pingpong.php) might have done some kyogen in their time. (warning: flash)

consider this

[(Anonymous)]

momus, you are something like really amazing. i often ponder on the following subject that might be of interest to you - when changing a baby's diaper, parents often make sounds of disgust. because fecal matter is our first creation, our first gift to the world, children often grow up with low self confidence. i find it rather sad that even as adults we distance ourselves from our "waste." the one natural way for us to give something back to the world is despised and ignored. what are your feelings on this?
-mobo

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Creating something out of nothing is always impressive, Mobo.

[(Anonymous)]

sei un po' un rottame momus. :)

[(Anonymous)]

You should write a song about- or, even better, for- SuperIdol Makoto, Nick. Recover your ears ASAP, we need them.
Antonio.

[charleshatcher.livejournal.com]

Something can never be created out of nothing.

[imomus.livejournal.com]

They're better today. I've finished the backing track on 'Corkscrew King' and should be doing the vocals later.

Sorry aboot the ears

[thelostmaverick.livejournal.com]

Finally found a copy of Forbidden Software Timemachine...it's rilly, rilly, rilly good...

But I have question to ask - do you think music videos have changed the meaning of music?

Re: Sorry aboot the ears

[imomus.livejournal.com]

Do you mean the videos you see in your head when you listen to music, or the music you hear on TV when a video gets shown?

Re: Sorry aboot the ears

[thelostmaverick.livejournal.com]

Yes, the latter. I meant do you think MTV and music videos have placed a greater emphasis on image, style over content, and so damaged the meaning of pop music in the process?

Has it had a negative effect on music - has video really killed the radio star basically? Is it to blame for crap music being successful simply because the artist/band has a sellable image?

I'm writing a paper on this for uni at the mo' and I thought it be nice to hear what an actual popstar had to say, rather than to refer constantly the uber God of Pop Music Knowledge, Simon Frith!

Who subsuqently is coming to lecture at my class in a few weeks time... oh the questions I'll ask...